you know you're playing a fish when he says...

[Jdr999 0]

In a cash game:Other player: I'm coming for you.You: Why?Other player: Let me rephrase that, I'm coming for the chip lead.

[XXEddie 0]

Playing with one of my donks at workAKx flop, we get it allin, I have Ax, he has Kx, he hits Klater, preflop we get it allin my A8 v his K 2. K on turnThen, on a 454 board he makes a big bet, which I read as either a semi-bluff, or a stone bluff and push with 68. He calls, with 67, 3 on turnpreflop he raises, I reraise with AK,he oushes, I call he has AQ, Flop QJx, turn x, river Thim-"youre so lucky"

[yergan 0]

"Hi, Im jeffrey pollack"

[SSPadawon4 0]

In a tourny I organized, started with 31, down to about 15. Im in bb with J6 off. 2 limpers and i check. I<m short stacked, blinds are raising and i hope for a good flop. J37 I figure I could take this down now (table image is tight, dont screw with my big bets cause im a rock) I go all in for 880 to a 700 or so pot, FOLD, suckout queen to my right looks at me, looks at her chips, she has less than 1000 if she calls, looks at me again, CALLS, I turn over my JACK, she turns over A3 off. Turn ....A. Im out , then she says >call it womens intuition, i knew you had me , but i knew my hand would win> men cant win in poker either i guess

This proves my theory that 98% of women have no business of playing poker outside women's tournaments. They all suck and have no idea how to play, and when tey suckout like above they say some bs line like that. Here's a hint the fold button does work.(thats to all online female players)

[Mercury69 3]

This proves my theory that 98% of women have no business of playing poker outside women's tournaments. They all suck and have no idea how to play, and when tey suckout like above they say some bs line like that. Here's a hint the fold button does work.(thats to all online female players)

And that's Aunt Jemima for your avatar. Get back in the kitchen and make some pancakes, b_itch.

[A. Holmberg 0]

THIS JUST IN, BREAKING NEWS!!!(After a wellplayed hand by a random guy with AA who owned some other random guy with AK...a different guy at the table fills me in on new info). I hope he is being sarcastic...if no...add him to your friends list on PS.TrulyRaNd0m said, "actually it was a huge suckout"TrulyRaNd0m said, "AK's a big favorite over AA"TrulyRaNd0m said, "like 2 to 1 or something"TrulyRaNd0m said, "I saw that on TV"Kuge said, "lemme just copy and paste that for later use "TrulyRaNd0m said, ""

I've played with him, lol

[Hyaku-Shiki 0]

This is the best thread on all of FCP.Its the reason why I joined up.

[XXEddie 0]

This is the best thread on all of FCP.Its the reason why I joined up.

you must not visit off topic, eh?This is the best 'on-topic' thread on this forumwhich makes it about 9354th overall

[Hyaku-Shiki 0]

you must not visit off topic, eh?This is the best 'on-topic' thread on this forumwhich makes it about 9354th overall

Sometimes. I've been lurking for a long while. I still think this is the best thread. Being a crappy losing player, I need humor to make the pain go away.

[Napa_Don 688]

Sometimes. I've been lurking for a long while. I still think this is the best thread. Being a crappy losing player, I need humor to make the pain go away.

Well, you joined the right forum cause nobody here loses money, and when they do, it's ONLY to bad beats.

[XXEddie 0]

http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...p;#entry1236539I didnt know there was a way to finish holdemanother work storyplaying with one of the donkies. He picks up his cards and says 'this is a really good hand' and check. Flop is rags. he again says 'i have a really good hand, and bets. I have like 4 high, and muck, He then shows his J high or whatever and starts laughing people around are like 'wow, did he really fold'

[Actuary 3]

on a related note Eddie, for some reason it annoys me when it's folded to the BB and he shows his hand. I want to say"Hey..i'm not folding my hand because of your 94 buddy, i'm folding because I have J3"

[rogerwilco 0]

After this hand on the final table of 45-player sng:PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em Tourney, Big Blind is t600 (7 handed) Hand History Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: FlopTurnRiver)Hero (t8345)UTG (t1565)MP1 (t12915)MP2 (t19059)CO (t9205)Button (t14636)SB (t1775)Preflop: Hero is BB with 4, K. 1 fold, MP1 calls t600, MP2 calls t600, CO raises to t2400, 3 folds, MP1 calls t1800, MP2 folds.Flop: (t5700) 6, Q, 4(2 players)MP1 checks, CO bets t6755 (All-In), MP1 calls t6755.Turn: (t19210) K(2 players, 1 all-in)River: (t19210) A(2 players, 1 all-in)Final Pot: t19210Results: MP1 has Ac Js (one pair, aces). CO has 8c 8s (one pair, eights). Outcome: MP1 wins t19210. ___________________________Busted Player: How can you make this call?Fish: gotta pay to play

[13CARDS 0]

Overheard:"So I raise pre-flop and this guy calls. The flop comes rag, rag, deuce..."LMAO

[XXEddie 0]

You make a comment critizing them or correcting them or just showing you know something about poker like...'actually A3 against KJs is pretty mucha coinflip preflop'then they reply; "well excuse me mr. professional"

[XXEddie 0]

Not a fish story really but I cant stand when there like 45 seconds before a tourney break and some ******* is paying slow to guarantee there are no more handsforgot onewhen someone calls an allin with like a gutshot, and you laugh at them by saying "nice call donkey" or whatever and he replies 'you talking to me'

[clipped 0]

"You should always play the 7-2 because no one can put you on it when you hit big!"

[BeaverStyle 1]

i love how often this thread gets bumped by new "fish" stories... and amazingly, there often is a new unrepeated story.

[XXEddie 0]

I have a friend and we play HU alot, I won about 70-80% of the time, but he thinks its all luck cause everytime he folds he asks me what I have and I always tell him I had some strong hand like a str8 even if I didnt

[XXEddie 0]

'its not luck unless your allin and get lucky'

[Abbaddabba 0]

you know you're playing a fish when...

... they wont stop whining about what other fish say and do.

[Actuary 3]

... they wont stop whining about what other fish say and do.

go away!this thread is not for serious players!don't you have some rakeback to make?

[OVERKILL 0]

OK I am new here, so try not to berate me TOO much.But I couldnt resist posting to this thread.I too am amazed at how many of these I have read, and havent too many the same. I thought for sure I would have seen at least one of these.40 player live tourney, i'm the sb w/ Q10o, CO raises Button calls I fold BB folds . After hand is over BB asks what i had, I tell him, He says,"YOU folded a QUEEN?" "I never fold face cards". I just laugh and say, that's good to know.Same guy the following week calls a players all in w/ 10-8s preflop,and loses to AK , I say how can you call w/ that, you didnt even have a face card. He says, what could he possibly have, he only had 2 cards at the time.Needless to say I finished 1st & 2nd both weeks, losing only to a friend I had brought the 2nd week, after that they kicked us out. And I started my own home game. I could NOT get that guy to come to my house though.

[Shakey90 0]

Heard this at a 2/5 NL table at a local casino...."I had pocket diamonds"

[DudeSurprise 0]

Heard this at a 2/5 NL table at a local casino...."I had pocket diamonds"

A friend of mine always says that about suited pocket cards...he's not completely terrible, but it's still sort of awkward when he says something like "You probably have the pocket spades and turned the flush."