I Have A Date

[SlapStick 0]

I need to go to America.

[bleacherbum3 9]

Quick date report, in list form:2) We went to a bar, and played 3 games of air-hockey. I beat her 7-0, 7-0, 7-1. I then told her it wasn't her fault, since the tables were built for adult-sized people. 4) At the end of the night, she said, and this is a direct quote, "Hey, I have to get up early tomorrow, so we can't fool around or anything tonight, but I don't work Monday. Want me to come over?"She did 90% of the talking all night. I just sat there, but apparently that was good enough, and I am having sex on Monday. Works for me. I'll get pictures if I can so you can all judge her. I'm not sure yet, but she's probably between 62/100 and 72/100.

Bolded - I laughed.Have fun with the sex Monday.

[rcgs59 15]

1) This is a joke about the size of my penis, right? Nice job. Well-executed small-penis-joke. They're tough to pull off, but you nailed that one. Oh before I forget: you're really ****ing fat. LOOKS LIKE TITICAL BLUNDER EVENS THE SCORE.2) Good catch, Rose, noticing that I performed poorly in that conversation. Very insightful, Rose. Also, you are still very fat, and perhaps suffering from some kind of life-threatening illness. That second one might not be your fault, but I think it bears mentioning.

won't be fat for that much longer at this going rate. So you can keep the fat jokes going for now. small minded and penis wonder. As for the 2nd part the radiation will help me lose the weight even faster. Unlike your encounter to be; my one encounter with a black male was very satisfying and was one that will never to be forgotten. . On the other hand she will most likely want to forget her experience with you .

[donk4life 34]

Yeah! Lets all get radiation and lose weight!

[DrawingDeadInDM 0]

won't be fat for that much longer at this going rate. So you can keep the fat jokes going for now. small minded and penis wonder. As for the 2nd part the radiation will help me lose the weight even faster. Unlike your encounter to be; my one encounter with a black male was very satisfying and was one that will never to be forgotten. . On the other hand she will most likely want to forget her experience with you .

You're absolutely horrifiying.

[Spademan 94]

Be careful if she takes off her shoes.Never trust a barefoot negroidess. The are much too nimble to be trusted. Much too nimble.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

i for one cant wait to see the picture. and he better come through with it. I LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

[rcgs59 15]

You're absolutely horrifiying.

well ty, it takes one horrifying figure to know another.

[Suited_Up 2]

well ty, it takes one horrifying figure to know another.

I had a good idea for a joke, but I couldn't put it together fully.

[chrozzo 19]

hi

[mr_druid 0]

Picture?Tom.

[ajs510 122]

I gave it 50/50 that she quit her job right after you were out of eyesight, so to successfully turn it into sexing is pretty impressive. All hail Wang's wang.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

I'm unimpressed by Wang's shameless attempt to move back into 1st by posting this in a new thread instead of where it would normally go.

Hey, dickfor, one of the secondary purposes of the exercise is to improve the quality of OT-General. The primary purpose, obviously -- and I don't want to speak for Joey here, but I am reasonably confident that he'll have no qualms with this claim -- is to systematically and quantifiably judge the shit out of some motherfuckers.

I have no qualms. I’m on record as saying that beans should be posting most of his stories outside the sick thread. But really, it’s all about judging the shit out of some motherfuckers.

You know, sometimes I forget how many people just don't get it.

I know right?

Also,Have, Rose, have.

There’s just almost zero chance she understands what you’re getting at. For some reason, I find this to be one of the more fascinating aspects of the entity that is Rose.

Unlike your encounter to be; my one encounter with a black male was very satisfying and was one that will never to be forgotten. .

Oh, by the way, I loved the story.

[Mercury69 3]

I'd hit that midget shit.

[DrawingDeadInDM 0]

well ty, it takes one horrifying figure to know another.

I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?

[Suited_Up 2]

I'm too beautiful, so I can't' tell, but does this horrify anyone?

[timwakefield 68]

Hey, dickfor,

What's a dickfor?

[rcgs59 15]

I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?

there are not any words in the dictionary to literally describe how ugly or distasteful you are. and if there were I put it here trust me.

I'm too beautiful, so I can't' tell, but does this horrify anyone?

even that's too beautiful to describe him.

[BeaverStyle 1]

Does she speak ghetto-ish? If so, I wouldn't be able to listen to her for more than 1 minute.

[Jadaki 0]

Does she speak ghetto-ish? If so, I wouldn't be able to listen to her for more than 1 minute.

The technical term is negroeese.Cracker.

[BeaverStyle 1]

The technical term is negroeese.Cracker.

Actually, isn't it called "Ebonics?"

[DrawingDeadInDM 0]

there are not any words in the dictionary to literally describe how ugly or distasteful you are. and if there were I put it here trust me.even that's too beautiful to describe him.

I bet you wipe from back to front.

[donk4life 34]

I want to hear more about this black man, Rose.

[El Guapo 8]

2) We went to a bar, and played 3 games of air-hockey. I beat her 7-0, 7-0, 7-1. I then told her it wasn't her fault, since the tables were built for adult-sized people.

I use statements like these all the time with the wife. She is a lofty 5 foot 1. As an aside, my mother bought my son an air hockey table at garage sale this weekend. Spook*y*I wasn't talking about your date.

I had a good idea for a joke, but I couldn't put it together fully.

SHOCKING!

The technical term is negroeese.Cracker.

45 posts for your first response. I am both dissapointed in the timeliness and the content.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Be careful if she takes off her shoes.Never trust a barefoot negroidess. The are much too nimble to be trusted. Much too nimble.

So far, she's worn stilettoes every time I've seen her so far, which gives me a significant mobility advantage. She was a dancer in her youth, and is a well-trained makeup artist, so she's basically a ninja, I think. If she wants to sneak up on me and murder me, I won't be able to do anything to stop her. As Scram has said in the past, however, that's part of the allure. It's just that much better if she might go all Praying Mantis on me after the disappointing sex-act.

i for one cant wait to see the picture. and he better come through with it. I LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

She's coming over tonight. The plan is: "Hey, I need a picture on my phone that pops up when you call." I'm going to randomly prop yardsticks against every wall in the apartment before she comes over so you'll have a frame of reference. If possible, I'll get a profile shot, too. That might be tougher to pull off, but I don't think I like her enough to worry about creeping her out. I am getting a very kinky vibe from her, however, so...

I gave it 50/50 that she quit her job right after you were out of eyesight, so to successfully turn it into sexing is pretty impressive. All hail Wang's wang.

I'm not sure if I told this part of the story, but:I was wandering through Macy's this afternoon, and then, well, holy crap, it's a 4'10" large-breasted African American girl working behind the makeup counter. We exchanged forced pleasantries, and then I left. I got to my car, and then said, "**** it," and wandered back in (A) to ask her out. (B)Wang: "So I got all the way out to my car, said '**** it' and came back in to ask you out. Want to grab a drink with me when you get off?"There was a bit of a gap between (a) and (b). You see, when I got back into the store, she was with a client, so I basically had to wander between three racks in the Polo section, checking out the same shirts over and over and over and over and over again for like 20 minutes. I got myself all pumped up ("I'm a man and the man's the man and that's just how it is, goddammit"), and then had to pretend I was all interested in these overpriced generic polos while she looked over her shoulder at me, trying to figure out if I was stalking her.