socalpoker_j 1 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Today I managed to chop a fir down with 3 to 4 karate chops (1/2 speed) and then hoisted the 500lb tree over my head and did lunges around my neighborhood. Pics to follow. Link to post Share on other sites
Napa_Don 688 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 A few years ago I was a contestant on the Wheel of Fortune. It was my turn so I spun the wheel. Of course, me being me, I spun it so hard that it came of its moorings, decapitated Pat Sajak and slammed through the wall into the set of the Price is Right. I walked through the hole in the wall and Bob Barker proceeded to lecture me on spaying and neutering my pets. Well, I had enough of that and picked up Bob Barker and compressed him between his palms until he was small enough to fit on the Plinko board. And I'll be damned if I didn't win $10000 and a new Cadillac! Link to post Share on other sites
silkyjonson 1 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I once killed a mountain lion with my bare hands. Link to post Share on other sites
socalpoker_j 1 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 This was all after a full workout mind you. My grip started to weaken after going for a mile or two (I can't really remember), so I decided to just fireman carry the log back and whittle the log into a statue of a lion on my front porch (with no tools). I think I'll maybe hunt for my dinner later with nothing but my bare hands and some dental floss. Link to post Share on other sites
Napa_Don 688 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 One time I was with Socal in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Socal goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm SOCAL! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Socal' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer! Link to post Share on other sites
Napa_Don 688 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Silky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart. Link to post Share on other sites
Piddle Duck 0 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I was a skinny wide receiver who was fast as hell but could not bench more than 175 until I was a senior in H.S. I was 2nd pound for pound on squats vs. body weight only to our RB who was only 5 5 and his legs only needed to move about 3 inches to do a squat. Of course some of the lineman were doing 600lbs plus.I did run a 4.6 40 at age 15 though, so there's that. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I was a skinny wide receiver who was fast as hell but could not bench more than 175 until I was a senior in H.S. I was 2nd pound for pound on squats vs. body weight only to our RB who was only 5 5 and his legs only needed to move about 3 inches to do a squat. Of course some of the lineman were doing 600lbs plus.I did run a 4.6 40 at age 15 though, so there's that.You sound pretty damn awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
socalpoker_j 1 Posted May 13, 2009 Author Share Posted May 13, 2009 some of the lineman were doing 600lbs plus.Front or back? That's my warm-up set for front squats. Link to post Share on other sites
navybuttons 15 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 You sound pretty damn awesome. Link to post Share on other sites
suicideking 0 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I squatted on Greg Raymers face once. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,722 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I did run a 4.6 40 at age 15 though, so there's that.no, you didnt. Link to post Share on other sites
king_tanner 84 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I was in finals at a swim meet one summer when I was in High school.I grip the block really hard in the take your mark position, and I always pulled myself forward as hard as I could. Along with that I push as hard as I can off my back foot. So at this meet I was swimming the 400 Free, and I completely broke the block on the start. They were old blocks to start off with, but breaking the block was pretty awesome, I guess you can compare it with shattering the rim in basketball. It was funny because they had no replacement blocks, and they had to delay the meet while they went to a different pool to get a block. It was like a 30 min delay.Oh and I won at poker once.... (exaggeration) Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 i fucked an elephant once.true story.was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway...not gratifying at all. Link to post Share on other sites
avsfan 0 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I make poop puppets. Link to post Share on other sites
antistuff 0 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 i farted once on the set of blue lagoon. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise 57 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I freed the jews, twice. Link to post Share on other sites
hblask 1 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I had a couple days that didn't suck last week.Too far? Link to post Share on other sites
Yoda 1 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Scram should be good at this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
CaneBrain 95 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I invented the phrase "I'm out like a deaf kid in marco polo".I once visited 13 Amsterdam "coffee shops" in one day.Sal Paradise freed me, twice.It was my great-great grandfather who stole all the wealth from Scram's family.My parents conceived me while watching "Chariots of Fire" which gave me superhuman endurance.I once saw the rain in Africa. Link to post Share on other sites
Napa_Don 688 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I had a couple days that didn't suck last week.Too far?Let's try to keep our stories factual, shall we? Link to post Share on other sites
AceJackOffS 0 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I once ate a whole wheel of cheese Link to post Share on other sites
BeaverStyle 1 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I once made a girl orgasm with my mindthen she blew me, called her mom over, who also blew me, who called her sister over, who blew me, and then I banged all of them in a single night. The morning was awkward, until they took turns blowing me. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamcaster 0 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I was once taking a flight on a 747 when both engines failed. I proceeded to exit the plane as it started to lose altitude walked to the tail of the plane, laid down on the tail fin and started to do a Michael Phelps style flutter kick. As was able to create enough thrust to land the plane safely and then was blown by every female on the flight. Link to post Share on other sites
Suited_Up 2 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 When I was younger, I happened to be on the set of the Nickelodeon show Hey Dude!. One of the horses went a bit crazy and kicked Christine Taylor off of it and sprained her knee. I had a bit of a crush on her at the time, and got so upset that I went and got a gun and put the horse down myself. Christine proceeded to have an illegal sexual relationship with me for 6 months. She was my first. Link to post Share on other sites
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