Sexual Partners

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

i think i gave a woman an orgasm once. my fingers are magical. she moaned with pleasure, her breathe quickened. her bosom heaving.but she didnt say, "i'm coming, oh god, i'm coming, dont stop. dont stop. just like that. yes. YES. YES!"so i cant be sure.

[donk4life 34]

Orgasms for women are fun to watch. They get cute faces and their legs twitch out of control. I once got my head locked between the partner's legs and nearly died because she loved my tongue. TRUE STORY.

[fryer98 30]

Orgasms for women are fun to watch. They get cute faces and their legs twitch out of control. I once got my head locked between the partner's legs and nearly died because she loved my tongue. TRUE STORY.

I once had a girl make a FCP name about my oral and post in the Army about it. Also a TRUE STORY.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

I once had a girl make a FCP name about my oral and post in the Army about it. Also a TRUE STORY.

Oh, so that's who "TerribleMcFlacid" was.

[Quacktastic 106]

I once had a girl make a FCP name about my oral and post in the Army about it. Also a TRUE STORY.

I like this post combination with your avatar.Theresa, how many times did you have sex with the 3/4's of guys that did not make you orgasm? Were they one and done drunken bangbang's?

[fryer98 30]

I like this post combination with your avatar.

Nice.

Theresa, how many times did you have sex with the 3/4's of guys that did not make you orgasm? Were they one and done drunken bangbang's?

I read that first as "gangbangs".

[Tactical Bear 3]

Instead of listing the numbers I will say that the ratio is 4:1. I think this thread is proof why women usually only have satisfying sex 25% of the time.

This is hilarious. If the ratio is 4-1, then -- I hate to break it to you -- you're not having satisfying sex 25% of the time.Also, consider yourself lucky. I probably have satisfying sex about 80% of the time -- low for a man -- and my partners get there no more than 15% of the time. Max. I recently had a conversation with the girl I dated last, and we did an orgasm-disparity-check. Wang: 21 orgasmsHer: 2 orgasmsSome of that is unfair and misleading (double treatment for me, since she wanted me to like her; her weird sexual hangups that gave me no chance to please), but that's probably a pretty accurate ratio nonetheless.I talked to an old girlfriend of mine a few hours after the conversation with my most recent Special Lady Friend, just because I was thinking about orgasm disparities and knew she (Jess, for anybody that is familiar with the name) would be honest. She said, during intercourse, her chances were about 1/5, though she was appreciative that I made an effort to fix that problem postcoitus (or a preemtive precoital strike nearly all the time). I don't live near Jess anymore, but we're going to try to hang out this weekend. I love bringing her around my friends. They're just blown away by how clueless she is, and how little she cares about it. They hate her for an hour, and then grow to like her because she's a little bundle of exceedingly stupid, honest, positive energy. New Number: 25 +/-2She was a solid 77/100. She was hanging out with two 85+ chicks at a bar, and I convinced her I was using my friends to distract her friends so I could get her alone (when, in reality, I was being used as the WookieBlocker). She liked me because I have a good job (I am junior partner in a smallish accounting firm), dress well (right from work running the floor at the card room, so I was dressed like... a junior partner in an accounting firm), and was self-effacing, sensitive, and direct. I gave her my real number. We will never see each other again because I work so much. By my count, my lie rate was something like: 13/hr.Wang

[James D 0]

80% of the time my partners get there no more than 15% of the time. Wang: 21 orgasmsHer: 2 orgasmsher chances were about 1/5New Number: 25 +/-2She was a solid 77/100. two 85+ chicks By my count, my lie rate was something like: 13/hr.Wang

Do you talk like this in real life? All these numbers and stuff..

[CindyLou 11]

I don't live near Jess anymore, but we're going to try to hang out this weekend.By my count, my lie rate was something like: 13/hr.

Yes!--speedz99What is your standard lie rate? Was this a high or low number?

[LongLiveYorke 38]

See, usually I try to make sure that the girl climaxes before intercourse happens. It's much easier to get better at foreplay than at intercourse since you don't have to worry about biological systems malfunctioning.That way, even if you totally suck, she still gets something out of it and thinks she enjoyed the whole experience.

[pezeveng 207]

I've faked it at least twice in my life that I remember both times I was losing my high and wanted to smoke some weed, the good old days.1| Take things slow. "Whenever a woman says she wants things to go slower, take what you think is slower and multiply it by 10. Women often complain that guys work too quickly through the stages kissing, hands on boobs, hands on crotch. The time you spend at each stage should be longer--women want to be teased. Which isn't to say we don't still like the occasional 'grab me in the hallway and do me now' session--just not all the time."2| Change your style. "Don't assume that because something worked last time--or with your last girlfriend--you should stick with it. Variety is the spice of sex. Don't be afraid to try things and ask her how it feels: more or less, faster or slower, softer or harder. Women aren't always comfortable telling men what they want, so ask her directly and encourage her to tell you."3| Remember that adult films are for entertainment purposes only. "Stop taking tips from porn films.... They're not a very good teacher. In most mainstream porn, it's like, woman enters room, kiss, clothes off, they're doing it. For women, the seductive period leading up to the nakedness is important, and you seldom get that in porn. And forget that tongue-flicking thing they do.... Generally, women want anything you do with your tongue to be long and slow."4| Give yourself a rest. "It's not always true that the longer you last during sex, the happier we women are. We want things to go on a while, but chafing isn't sexy. And just because you start something doesn't mean you can't stop and go back to it. Don't be concerned you'll lose your erection, because you can get it back."5| Appreciate her looks--and take care of your own. "Always verbally express your appreciation of your partner's body at any given opportunity. Women are vain; we want to hear all the time how beautiful we are. We're also insecure about our physical presence. But you should also take care of your own body--women love a guy who dresses well and stays well-groomed. Both men and women tend to go into cruise control when they get into relationships, but she'll appreciate you even more if you still put effort into your appearance."6| Sometimes she doesn't want much foreplay. "In the course of a relationship, there will probably be times when a woman is turned on and ready without needing a lot of kissing and touching first. How can you tell? If she's eagerly attending to your happy parts more than the rest of your body or pulling you straight into a sexual position, it's pretty clear. If you aren't sure, ask her."7| Don't assume she'll request what she wants. "Many women are shy about asking for oral sex, but really do want it. If she doesn't ask, give it a try anyway. Kiss your way from her neck all the way down her chest, stomach and thighs, then go for it. If she likes it, she'll be happy to let you keep going. In the unlikely event that she doesn't, or if she just isn't in the mood, she'll be sure to stop you. Or she may want you to do it for a while, then move on to regular intercourse."8| Do it in the dark. "Men often say they like to make love with the lights on, and women sometimes find that adds excitement as well. But because so many women have body-image issues, she may feel more open to letting herself go and trying new things in the dark. Rather than feeling as if you're missing something by not being able to see her, enjoy the pleasures that her sense of freedom can bring both of you. And if you want her to feel totally uninhibited, blindfold yourself and let her go wild. You can create a blindfold from anything that's around your bedroom, from your tie or boxers to her silk scarf or tights."9| Have fun with mirrors. "If she is secure with her body, having sex in front of a mirror or two can be very exciting for both of you. If you don't have a large mirror that's aimed at your bed, you can buy an inexpensive full-length mirror, prop it up against a wall, and have at it on the floor in front of the mirror. This can be much sexier than videotaping, which often creates a fairly unattractive memento of your sexual experience. With mirrors, you can change positions and angles if what you see is not turning you on--it's easy to move around to find an attractive view."10| Put her in the driver's seat. "In general, female-dominant positions will make you last longer and her climax faster. They also make it easier for you to use your hands, touching all the places that aren't as accessible when you're on top. If she's a 'breast woman,' stimulating them up to and including the grand finale can create electricity that will knock your socks off."11| Be smooth. "Rough hands can be the sign of a manly guy who doesn't mind physical labor, but they're not what she wants when you're stimulating her more sensitive zones. For that, make sure your hands are clean and smooth--use moisturizer if you need to. Any roughness, or even minuscule amounts of sweat, can leave her feeling sore."12| Make the most of what you've got. "Want your girth to feel twice as huge and her to feel twice as tight? Try positions where she has her legs straight up in the air. Want to feel twice as long to her? Try positions where she pulls her knees back toward her chest. On the other hand, if it's so big that she's uncomfortable, take extra time with foreplay. The more excited she is, the easier it is to fit together just right."13| Get her motor running in different ways. "Remember this: Foreplay can be many things. It can be anticipation--knowing that you're going to have sex at a certain time later on can fuel the fire. It can be something that's physical but not overtly sexual, such as stroking her hair. And women tell me that they never get enough kissing. That's what often gets the motor running; it starts the connection between people."14| Tickle her ears. "Men are more visual, so they often don't realize that women tend to be more auditory--they need to hear things. If you listen to her, and learn how to talk to her, it's not just romantic but sexual as well. For her, there's no greater aphrodisiac than being listened to. It translates into a feeling of being connected, and connectedness is probably the greatest aspect of a woman's ability to engage in sex."15| Play with her head. "Fantasy can be an important aspect of sex, but my experience has shown that women have a harder time expressing their sexual fantasies. A great way for men to enter foreplay is to tease out her fantasy side. That might include telling stories or reading a sexy book together. Erotic novels, or the 'softer' side of fantasy, are less threatening than hard-core porn, although some women love that, too. When you're in the zone of sexual energy, everything becomes a part of foreplay."

[donk4life 34]

Doing it in front of a mirror is pretty hot. For some reason by penis almost looks like the average normal size when I see in the mirror, so that's a HUGE confidence boost.

[Sal Paradise 57]

Doing it in front of a mirror is pretty hot. For some reason by penis almost looks like the average normal size when I see in the mirror, so that's a HUGE confidence boost.

yep

[James D 0]

yep

Is it strange that my girlfriend slept with her phone, with 999 (UK version of 911) pre-dialled, because she thought I was going to mutilate her... after watching that film a few weeks ago?

[Sal Paradise 57]

Is it strange that my girlfriend slept with her phone, with 999 (UK version of 911) pre-dialled, because she thought I was going to mutilate her... after watching that film a few weeks ago?

wow, yeah that is pretty strange. you actually have a girlfriend?OH!

[James D 0]

wow, yeah that is pretty strange. you actually have a girlfriend?OH!

[Tactical Bear 3]

Do you talk like this in real life? All these numbers and stuff..

Yes. I am a nerd. Do you talk like that in real life? With malformed ellipses and stuff?

Yes!--speedz99What is your standard lie rate? Was this a high or low number?

Standard lie-rate is probably <.05/hr. I'd say I tell a little less than a lie/day on average, if we ignore SuperLieFests, where I tell a girl some lie and have to keep making up more and more lies to make the first one work.Actually, it depends on how we define "lie," in this context. For example, when somebody asks me how I'm doing, I almost always respond, "Good, man. Real good." before asking how he is doing. That is, almost surely, untrue, as at any given moment, there is a better than 50/50 chance I'm at least slightly unhappy, a 25% chance I'm very unhappy, and only a 5% chance that I'm actually "Good, real good." If those are lies -- the little things I say to keep the world in balance -- than my lie-rate is closer to 6/hr. Jess is coming to visit after work tonight. I don't get off until 130.She doesn't get off ever! HIYO!!

[Quacktastic 106]

Standard lie-rate is probably <.05/hr. I'd say I tell a little less than a lie/day on average, if we ignore SuperLieFests, where I tell a girl some lie and have to keep making up more and more lies to make the first one work.

I think she meant average lie/hr to pick up women...

[Jadaki 0]

She doesn't get off ever! HIYO!!

Well played.

[Dawson Leery 12]

Jess is coming to visit after work tonight. I don't get off until 130.She doesn't get off ever! HIYO!!

Wait, is Jess the Matthew Lillard Jess? Or is Jess the girl that wanted to give you anything and it was awkward?

[Tactical Bear 3]

Wait, is Jess the Matthew Lillard Jess? Or is Jess the girl that wanted to give you anything and it was awkward?

Jess is Valentine's Day Jess. She just got to my place, and is in the bathroom. I honestly had NO FUCKING IDEA that tonight was Valentine's Day. Apparently I am even more retarded than previously believed. This is going to be fun/horrible/Speedz's Wet Dream

[Sal Paradise 57]

Jess is Valentine's Day Jess. She just got to my place, and is in the bathroom. I honestly had NO FUCKING IDEA that tonight was Valentine's Day. Apparently I am even more retarded than previously believed. This is going to be fun/horrible/Speedz's Wet Dream

the local moose lodge is having their valentines day dance tonight which is usually a pretty big deal around here. my buddy called me at the beginning of last week and asked me if I had tickets or not and if I needed him to pick me one up and I said sure. but the thing is, he said "hey, you got tickets to the band name here at the moose for next sat?" so I just thought "oh, an event. sounds delightful. I would love to go!" I didn't even realize until yesterday that its a god damned valentines day dance. I'm such a loser they probably won't even let me in the door.

[Quacktastic 106]

Jess is Valentine's Day Jess. She just got to my place, and is in the bathroom. I honestly had NO FUCKING IDEA that tonight was Valentine's Day. Apparently I am even more retarded than previously believed. This is going to be fun/horrible/Speedz's Wet Dream

Update?

[Tactical Bear 3]

Update?

There was talking. And crying. It did not go as planned. I don't know how I so consistently misevaluate the consequences of my actions.

[ROGUE06 0]

11 atm, funny how that number could easily be 5-6ppl lower if I really upped my standards/not got so drunk but it also could be 10-15 higher if I was much more of a scumbag/drank more.