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Beat It Like A Cop


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if u were there it would have been hilarious...i agree its not as good as the first but it was still funny as shit cause it actually happend.im still waiting for others
ok im a little tipsy and didnt even pick up on thatBOTH STORIES ARE FUNNY AS SHIT
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ok im a little tipsy and didnt even pick up on thatBOTH STORIES ARE FUNNY AS SHIT
I definitely agree that the second would be a lot funnier if I were there but looking at it from the outside it just seems like you were being mean.
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I definitely agree that the second would be a lot funnier if I were there but looking at it from the outside it just seems like you were being mean.
well i could see us being mean if we didnt give her a huge tip and we didnt explain it....she even thought it was funny so u cant say we were being mean
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well i could see us being mean if we didnt give her a huge tip and we didnt explain it....she even thought it was funny so u cant say we were being mean
I guess so. I really didn't read the ending part closely so I didn't see the huge tip. And I can say whateva I want foo. :club:
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i was at the girl's family's house for the holidays. Her father and I are in the basement watching the massive TV, and he falls asleep. After like 20 minutes I forget that he's there and rip the loudest fart (on leather, amplified) and he wakes up with a start. I look at him and start laughing my ass off, he looks at me and says, "did you just fart me awake?""DID YOU JUST FART ME AWAKE"I could NOT STOP LAUGHING

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Junior year in college (a long time ago). I'm in my dorm room one afternoon, doing the deed. There's a knock at the door. I ignore it. All of a sudden, the deadbolt turns and in walks the resident assistant giving a tour to a prospective student. I quickly cover myself with the sheets, but it was pretty obvious what was going on. The RA shows the kid the room while I just sit there. They leave, and I finish the job at hand.Edit: I think I've posted this before. IIRC, there was an "I got caught" thread in OT a while back.

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If we're telling drunk stories I got a fairly decent one from the other day...There was like this pretty big party a few miles away from where I live, so me and 2 buddies go there and get pretty wasted. After the thing was pretty much over another friend of us(had to work that night) came to pick us up and give us a ride home...cool. So before we're home we wanted to get some subway, go in, order, eat everythings fine.Now, Idk if it's the same in the US, but if you order at Subway in Germany you get those stamps-kinda-things and if you have 10 or whatever on your card you'll get a free sandwich...So me and my other friend hide the ones of our drunkest friend under his tray. He eats and doesnt really realize it, but as we're about to leave he's like Where the **** are my stamps????? We act like we have no clue and he just starts insulting random people lol. So it gets to the point were he's really crazy mad, lifts up his tray and threatens people to hit them with it if they dont give him his ****in stamps...he does that a couple of times lifting the thing up, not realizing the stamps are right in front of him, and finally putting it back down on them. We and pretty much all the people in the restaurant are dying and he's just getting more pissed, until he finally finds them and he just says Oh, there they are!, stands up and leavesno pt_special story but I was dying of laughter :club:

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alright well ill go next again....we use to have an agreement that one of use had to be a complete ******* after we got our food from a restaurant one time i got picked while we were at a sushi place. first, we get our last order and right when the waitress walks up i take a bite and just say "WHAT THE ****" as loud as i can without yells and she asks "what is wrong" and i say in an ******* tone "your cooks dont do shit....this is raw" and she explains sushi to me and i just act unamuzed and keep eating soup while looking around. so after we get done eating pretty much my buddy left and the waitress came up again and asked if he was done and i looked at her with the biggest ******* look i can come up with and just say "i dont know, why dont u ask him" and she gives me a blank stare and walks away. the last time she comes up before we leave she asks completely unamused like she doest care at all "is there anything i else i can do" and i say with a completely full water "ya, i want a new water".....she just stares again and says "whats wrong with yours?" and i tell her that there is too much ice in it"....she brings me back another water with 1 ice cube and she asks really sarcastically if it was good enough and i just tell here that it will do....she pretty much throws the check at us barely stopping at the table so we pay leaving her no tip at all....we watch from the outside while she bitches to everyone imaginable about us then we walk in and explain how it was a bet that we have and it was a big joke........and i wind up with her number.edit: your welcome for the paragraphs but im drinking so GFY
So when you guys act like an ******* you actually stiff the tip too? That seems alot less than acting at that point.Tip your waitresses people!
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So when you guys act like an ******* you actually stiff the tip too? That seems alot less than acting at that point.Tip your waitresses people!
Well this is what he told me after I told him they were being a holes
well i could see us being mean if we didnt give her a huge tip and we didnt explain it....she even thought it was funny so u cant say we were being mean
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well i could see us being mean if we didnt give her a huge tip and we didnt explain it....she even thought it was funny so u cant say we were being mean
Ahh, if I keep reading my questions get answered, gg then since you all tipped her.The first story is way funnier. And I agree you have nothing left to lose when she catches you whackin it so you should def have said something to get her to join you. Even if she is big, old and her hands are rough and smell like bleach from all the years of being a cleaning lady, its still better when someone else does it.
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Back when I was in grade 6, my gym teacher played a decent prank on me. He had my best friend talk to me in a seperate room. He said "Ok so here's what's going to happen, you'll walk out in to the gym and the whole class will be sitting in their 'squads' (Basically just means in rows of 5) and there will be 1 chair for you infront of everyone. You need to pretend that chair is a motorcycle, clean it with a rag, start it up and pretend your racing it. The more sound effects you add to it the better it'll be and the teacher will reward you.""I said ok that sounds kinda weird, but of course I'll do it".So I walk in to the gym and there's everyone sitting there on the floor with 1 chair at the front of the class just as my friend told me. I pretend to dust it off, wiping it nice & shiny. I sit on that bad boy and rip down the street. I made really loud engine sounds and the whole class was laughing the ass off. I didn't really understand why but whatever, I was the king of that bike. After a minute or so of the whole class in tears rolling over and my teacher dying of laughter on the side I stopped and starred blankly.My teacher walks out of the back room and throws a toilet roll at me. I didn't clue in at first but everyone was dying of laughing so I quickly figured it all out. While richard was telling me what to do, my teacher told the class that the chair was a toilet.At the end of the year awards, my teacher gave me a certificate that said "Easy Rider of the Year" - still got it stored away lol.

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If we're telling drunk stories I got a fairly decent one from the other day...There was like this pretty big party a few miles away from where I live, so me and 2 buddies go there and get pretty wasted. After the thing was pretty much over another friend of us(had to work that night) came to pick us up and give us a ride home...cool. So before we're home we wanted to get some subway, go in, order, eat everythings fine.Now, Idk if it's the same in the US, but if you order at Subway in Germany you get those stamps-kinda-things and if you have 10 or whatever on your card you'll get a free sandwich...So me and my other friend hide the ones of our drunkest friend under his tray. He eats and doesnt really realize it, but as we're about to leave he's like Where the **** are my stamps????? We act like we have no clue and he just starts insulting random people lol. So it gets to the point were he's really crazy mad, lifts up his tray and threatens people to hit them with it if they dont give him his ****in stamps...he does that a couple of times lifting the thing up, not realizing the stamps are right in front of him, and finally putting it back down on them. We and pretty much all the people in the restaurant are dying and he's just getting more pissed, until he finally finds them and he just says Oh, there they are!, stands up and leavesno pt_special story but I was dying of laughter :club:
Was he yelling in English or was he all like "Woe sind mein aufga****en stampens zee!?" that would be a sweet youtube video.
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Kevin King, being a waiter I woulda said **** you guys and left. Such an ******* thing to do, but at least you were nice at the end. I'd be on such LFT if you randomly hated on me for raw sushi and left me no tip.Why has no one talked about Seth's story. That was ****in amazing. Both me and my gf laughed out loud pretty heartily.

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Junior year in college (a long time ago). I'm in my dorm room one afternoon, doing the deed. There's a knock at the door. I ignore it. All of a sudden, the deadbolt turns and in walks the resident assistant giving a tour to a prospective student. I quickly cover myself with the sheets, but it was pretty obvious what was going on. The RA shows the kid the room while I just sit there. They leave, and I finish the job at hand.Edit: I think I've posted this before. IIRC, there was an "I got caught" thread in OT a while back.
Wow, you finished after they left. You are a professional.
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<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied<emoti_conartist> lol<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing KICKS one of the stall doors open<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to **** him up... so i'd better hit him first'<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing SMACKS this guy in the face<cassius_clay13> and runs away<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

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<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied<emoti_conartist> lol<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing KICKS one of the stall doors open<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to **** him up... so i'd better hit him first'<cassius_clay13> so he ****ing SMACKS this guy in the face<cassius_clay13> and runs away<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
F'd up to the max
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Wow.. Kobe just gave me night terrors. That's about as bad a night as a guy could have.. Wow...

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Wow.. Kobe just gave me night terrors. That's about as bad a night as a guy could have.. Wow...
Yeah that's pretty extraordinary. On the plus side though, the next time I have a shitty time at a bar or whatever, I can always think, 'well at least a stranger didn't puke all over me and punch me in the face for no reason.' And on the minus side, I will probably be terrified the entire time if I ever take a shit in a bar bathroom. I'll probably bring a chair in to prop the door closed.
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