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Sick Boy's Best Qoute Of All Time Thread

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I thought it had potential to be a good thread. I would suggest anyone who wants to participate in it post any more quotes they like here. The other one has been hiijacked and ruined with a sad little catfight. Let them have it. Hopefully they won't be petty enough to ruin this one as well. I'm going to do my best to copy everything they didn't post in this new, virginal thread.

We've all heard them. Whether it was some serious words of wisdom that made you go, "hmmm...that is true..." or Phil Hellmuth's latest ," I can dodge bullets baby" qoute, we've all heard those world famous memorable words of wisdom that will always stay with us.If you know a cool quote please feel free to post it in this thread. If you dont know any just go to google and type "Famous poker qoutes". There are many websites that have lists of famous qoutes on them. Once everybody stops posting in this thread we can see which quote comes up the most and thus deduce which qoute is the best of all time, (in our humble opinion of course ).Here's my nomination:“You call gonna be all over baby" – Scotty Nguyen just before winning the 1998 WSOP
WatFavourite memorable thing was on HSP:Eli had just won a pot and the drinks girl came over and game him a glass, he tipped her and said something like "Thank you dear"Doyle "If he'd have lost that pot, he would've said, get away from me bitch"/Paraphrase
The majority of Acid's post, imo.
100% agree. I have a video clip of this I chopped up from the episode lol.
Saw thread title and thought of Scotty's quote.Barry saying "lol donkaments" on hsp.
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"If it weren't for luck, I'd win 'em all." - Hellmuth"These idiots try to give you their money, and the f***in' deck saves 'em!" - Matusow
Doyle Brunson to Ted forrest, mainly because of his accent "Ted, I'd like to apologise to you." "for what Doyle?" "For calling you an idiot on national TV" and he breaks out laughing.Always loved that for some reason
"Even the woodpecker knows that in order to be sucessful you have to use your head.""Feed your courage and your fears will starve to death.""Life is hard and for stupid people its even harder.""Must be the shirt!"
"That's the worst, most consistent miss-spelling of the word 'quote' I've ever seen, man." - Me, just now.
on poker after dark, hellmuth explaining why he is sleeping in between hands:"sometimes i get abit tired, so i go to sleep......then when i wake up i'm usually chip leader"something like that
That's like weaksauce on lame potatoes.
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He said, "Thank you, baby."Doyle said, "Baby now, if he'd lost that pot it'd of been 'get away from me bitch'."
Can't believe nobody mentioned this yet:"You could have folded!"Also, I don't remember the quote, maybe someone can help me... it was Doyle and he went all in with a pair of 3's which were good, and someone asked him how he could go all in on that, and he was like "How can YOU go all in on that?"
It's in my sig...the one from NoSup...I wish I was good when everyone sucked-NoSup4u
"I thought you had pocket Kings"-Jennifer Tilly (PAD)
or the matasow raymer exchangeyou have little ballsI have big balls, or something to that effect
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El Guapo submissionQUOTE(Balloon guy @ Wednesday, March 7th, 2007, 11:56 AM) *So I thought describing a typical session I play online. This should give you a glimpse into what I think is a solid foundation for a future online tensofthousandaire.1st you should know that when the poker boom first started I was skeptical and waited till there were fewer players playing online. The more players there are, the harder it is to be the best right? After the passage of the Gaming bill, I found much more manageable sized games, and the people that were there seem to be there everyday so I can really get a read on them and eventually make those huge laydowns that only top pros can make.Before I play I prepare myself by setting aside many different items that will insure my success:Paper and pencil to take notes of other players.WaterPretzelsCookies( to reward myself for good play )Calculator for pot oddsAbacus for when most of the other players are oriental ( this lets them know I am not intimidated )Computer (duh )Tissues ( sinuses )Trash can (for tissues )A few Poker Books such as Play Poker Like the Pros (duh ) Phil Gorden's Little Green Book, and the classic Professor, Banker and Suicide King.So rather than list my many philisophical ideas, basic understanding of the difference between limit and no limit ( you make and lose way more money in no limit ) and other things that give me the credits to perform at my best, I will describe last night's session, which is pretty typical of my play:I log onto my dial up, this can take up to 5 minutes so I take advantage of this time to go to the bathroom, turn on High Stakes Poker ( I have them all recorded ) and make any work calls I need to. I believe in trying to get the most out of every second of the day.I first go to Full Tilt Poker and rail some big games, I like to try to say witty things in the chat box to get the pros to notice me. This way, when I play with them later they will think: "That's the guy that always watched me play, I better be careful of him and respect his raises" Then I go to Full Contact Poker and sit down at a PLO8 $6/$12 game. I know no one else will play that level on the site, so I am safe from having to risk any money, but if any opponents are surfing around, they will see me sitting at this tougher game at a higher stake and think: "This guys a player; I should respect his raises" I of course look around at the bigger tables to do the same thing. It is important though to be 'away' while sitting at these tables since my bankroll is too small to have any serious money if front of me, and when you are away it just says 'away' with no money.Then I logged onto the $.25/$.50 no limit table for $20. This is a good table choice for me because I am way better than anyone that would play this level, so I can relax my focus if I need to and still post a winner on many nights. I used to really tear up the $.05/$.10 with like 3 or 4 BB every hour. The $20 will also protect me from any coolers like the nut flush draw vs overpair etc.First hand I post $.50 since the button is to my left. I mean come on, I didn't sit down to not play. Get dealt 96 off. First guy to act ( under the gun) raises to $2. Everyone folds so it's up to me to make sure this guy knows I am not afraid of him. I call for a discount ( Thank you Vince Van Patton ) and see the flop, hoping he has AK so I can put him on a hand. Flop comes J 9 3 two spades. Now the spades worry me because most flushes are made with spades, so I figure I better protect my hand. But I got position so I don't get the chance. This guy bets like $6. I mean come on, the pot only has like $5 in it and he bets over the pot. Looks like Mr. AK doesn't like the flop and wants me gone. Sorry bully man, there's a new Sheriff in town and his name is Balloon Guy. I raise to $12 and he calls so fast I almost type in the chat: 'AK huh?' Where do they come from? Well now I am feeling really good, but the turn in the K of hearts. Man how can I get so unlucky. He checks, but I'm not falling for that, I only bet $2 which is only 1/3 my stack so I can fold if he raises. He just smooth calls. So smooth. River is the 3 of hearts, so now I have two pair, which can beat a pair of kings, but one of the trademarks of a good player is to not bet when they can't stand a raise, so when he checks I just check, but I took a real long time to check to let him know I have a good hand. He shows JJ for a full house and I am really proud to show my two pair that I didn't bet on the river. Now the players will respect me. I also make a note that the guy with only one arm slow played top set after betting more than the pot, but checked his full house so I should probably never bet on the river against him. This guy has been really changing gears the last three sessions because he would never have played it like that before. That's why you take notes though, to keep your eye out for guys that can switch gears.Next three hands I fold to let everyone know I am playing tight. Then call with 46 suited in spades. You remember what I said about spades. Man I love it when you get good cards. Totally miss the flop, but since I am playing tight I think why not try to cash in on my table image? I go all in for $4 and get called by the cute black chick who has top pair no kicker. Man this is going to be a tough night.I re-buy for $40 now. You know all the other players are like: “Whoa, he just bought in for twice his original buy in, he must have a lot of money. And if he has a lot of money he must be good, I should respect his raises” I do this on purpose.Now I am in the BB and get dealt JJ. Two limpers so I just check to trap them. Flop comes Q 10 5 rainbow. Gin for my hand. I mean what hand limps with a Q? Right? Well apparently KQ is a limping hand to Mr. One Arm. So I rebuy again but this time for only $25. Time to show proper bankroll management.A make a couple nice plays when I get a set and two pair on flop and quickly I am up to $40. The hand with the set I did a little thing I like to think I invented, when I hit my set, I check, then if they bet I will raise. But here’s the tricky part, I check the turn like I’m on a draw, then lead out for a really small bet like I am bluffing. Unless they totally suck out on me this play works like 80-85% of the time. They call that a value bet.Get a monster AA from middle position and my M is like 4 or 8 so I decide to lead out for a standard 3xBB raise. No way they can put me on AA now. Flop comes 789 all hearts and I have A of hearts, so I bet pot and get two callers, sweet. Turn is a K that isn’t a heart so I check just in case one of them has 2 hearts already. They both check. Now I don’t have a clue what they could have, probably a set or a straight draw, so I decide to be careful. River is a J so unless I got really unlucky I am ahead here. I put in a small 1/3 pot bet. But remember how I bet a small amount last time I had a set, so I am totally representing here. But they both called. I am like really stoked but I missed what they had because the internet froze when I got a phone call. After my daughter calls back and gets off the phone I re-log on and try to figure out what they had but they wouldn’t say and I must have lost because I only have like $12 now. That one is going to bug me for quite a while.Time to tighten up, 4 re buys is my maximum for a one hour session, so I am dangerously close to having to watch High Stakes Poker for the rest of the night. I fold like 5 hands in a row. Rocky rock rock. I could probably get them to lay down QQ to a serious re raise from me now.But then this really tough hand came up. I have 78 spades (yes) and call a minimum raise, probably aces. They should just take out a billboard that says “I Have Aces” when they min raise. So the flop is 9 10 A with the 9 a spade. Wow, this one’s big. I have an open ended straight draw, a backdoor flush draw, and a backdoor straight flush draw. Now I’m almost hoping he has AA so I can destroy him. Did I mention this is Mr. One Arm, my nemesis. This will be so much sweeter than beating the girl with the pony tail, she’s really bad. So he bets like a pot size bet so I take a moment to calculate my pot odds. I have 4 6s and 4 J to have the nuts, so that’s 8, then I have two chance to catch 2 spades, with 10 spades left I get 20 different ways to catch 2 spades ( if you don’t understand this you should really read Play Poker Like the Pros, you need it). Then I have the monster straight flush draw, only needing 2 of 4 cards to make it. That’s 50%. So I get my calculator out and figure I have about a 2:1 chance of winning and am ready to reraise all in but I got timed out and the hand got folded. They really need to lengthen the clock. The One Arm bandit shows his AA ( told you ) and I am left wondering what I would have said if I had made my hand. Probably: “Sorry dude, but next time you slow play aces you deserve to lose or something like that.”This is why I think I am going to quit trying to be a math guy and just become a feel player.So I am steaming now and decide I am not in the right frame of mind so I go over to the limit game. Limit is way easier because you can only lose like 4 BB max if you’re heads up and only make one raise. I totally dominate from the start and quickly am up 5 BBs and think:“Man I knew I should have played higher stakes. If I had played at the $300/$800 table I would up $4,000 right now.”But you can’t let hindsight take you off your game. SO I left after about 20 hands, gave back a little and left up. Overall a bad night, but I think I left the other players with a feeling that they should watch out for me.So who wants to stake me and hop on this gravy train?BalloonGuy on FCP

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Not the best of all time, but it holds up."Poker is alot like sex, everone thinks they are the best, but most don't have a clue what they are doing" - Dutch Boyd
Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser.-Stu
But it was suited!
stu unger to dealer in the movie high roller, while losing to asian player heads upwhy dont ya lean over the table and just kiss me, because you've been f***ing me all nightand everyone go see the movie if you havent already
"I never go looking for a sucker. I look for a Champion and make a sucker out of him." -Amarillo Slim
This is one of my favorites also:With Liu out of the contest, the remaining men went to battle. Brunson limped in with pocket threes. Antonius, with a firm chip lead, pushed all in with A2, sure Brunson couldn't call with a limping hand. Instead, Brunson called, doubled up, and took the chip lead."How could you make that call?" Antonius asked incredulously."How could I make that call?" Brunson responded with a smile. "How could you make that bet? We're playing poker, not solitaire."My other favorite is "I love poker" (while rubbing nipples). ---Chau Giang
"There's more to poker than life" - Tom McEvoy"Look. You got losing hand, you're playing bad; you're just trying to get some TV time. Muck your hand, idiot!"- Shawn "Sheiky" Sheikhan to Phil Hellmuth Jr "You have to live on the edge a little bit if you're a big time gambler, if that's what you love. There has got to be a little of risk. You've got to walk on the edge where it hurts a little bit if you lose, but it makes every day of your life exciting."- The late Chip Reese"I guess if luck weren't involved, I'd win every one." - Phil Hellmuth Jr on winning WSOP bracelets"Honey! Honey! I was supposed to go broke that hand, honey. But they forgot one thing. I can dodge bullets, baby."- Phil Hellmuth Jr "If my daddy knew I was losing in this poker game, he'd come out of the grave and beat the heck out of me." -Doyle Brunson on the $500,000 buy-in game in High Stakes Poker Season 4
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"Some day, I suppose it's possible for someone to be a better no limit hold 'em player than me. I doubt it, but it could happen. But, I swear to you, I don't see how anyone could ever play gin better than me."- Stu Ungar"2 cards have no power unless the hands that hold them have courage" - knoxxxy"if you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at your table....you are the sucker"- MAtttttttttttttttttttttttt DAEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeemon
Lmao, priceless. I also like the one Doyle did on High Stakes Poker, something like, "YEah and a pair beats a high card and two pair beats a pair. I spent two weeks playing online poker, I know all about that.", *Everyone laughs. Paraphrasing
"How is it possible to accept all in withouth to see the floop?"How has no-one included this yet?
My new favorite poker quote in keeping with the original thread.EDIT: 2 long to hijack...so my other favorites from stake threadsdrcossack (scranton)and the new one:se7enth_bok (crawfordsville)
I like this one from DN to Ivey on PAD. Ivey raises DN, and DN reraises with the following comment:"He pops me I'm popping him. That's how we roll baby"
How can you make that call?Easy its not my money.Backers gotta love that. I believe it was Sam Grizzle, he should have the top 50 quotes of all time.
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." ~Seven Wright
"Didn't Lebanon just invade Israel" - Barry Greenstein
"Raisy Daisy" Sammy Farha
Sammy Fahra on HSP"If you deal me pocket ace's I'll play them, if you deal me 4 7 offsuit I'll play them to, I can only play what I get"
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Ok, that should be all of them. At least everything not directly related to, or a product of the thread. Watching this PAD repeat with Huck. Reminded me of quite possibly my favorite. "You're like a borderline on her period"-Huck Seed to Hellmuth, as Phil went on one of his made for TV rants.

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Pretty sure this is the only time you accidentally "misspelled" it.
You need to back the **** off. You're starting to piss some people here off.
Lol that's why I said some people...if it was just me I'd say I want you to back off. I'm sure he'll go the way of the troll and either get banned or leave.
Problem is, I actually contribute to these forums and making people better players. Which is more than 95% of the people that post here can say. Not sure how that makes me a troll. Trolls don't contribute anything. I contribute a ton, but sometimes my contributions aren't for people without thick skin.Regardless, I don't give a **** what you think.
Lol, go ahead and add me on facebook 12 more times champ. Real good people.
It started from the Durr thread but I figured since I didnt feel like going there to quote something again I'd bring it in here. He just needs to not come across as a condescending jerkoff every time he posts. I've been told that's what he's trying for so I don't know whether to say good job or go away.
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The Durr thread was me and Acid Knight having fun via AIM after Royal Tool makes one of his many ridiculous comments.
You are right. If I was at a table with you and thought you were terrible at poker and thought you had many leaks, I wouldn't tell you what your leaks were, because I'd just continue to exploit you and take your money.Because this is a poker site with a strategy forum, I choose to exercise my will to provide insightful strategy, regardless of the manner in which I choose to provide it.Edit: And you keep using the term troll incorrectly. Just because I once considered you to be a joke account (because I thought half of your posts were retarded levels), you get mad at me and call me a troll without much basis for it.
I'd also like to point out that GetSprung was the creator of the drcossack (Scranton) account back from when me and a few others were giving cossack hell for welching on a debt and begging people for money. I give him a stake because he gave me a good 5 minutes of laughter. And he accuses ME of being a troll?
let's see i've posted a small number of hands here at fcp, to which i usually say something to the effect of i was wrong i played this hand bad. you have very rarely if at all seen me play and would have no idea of how good a player i am based on a small number of hands i have posted admitting to playing them wrong. i guarantee you, that you and snamuh are barely better than me, if any at all.
Lol at "I prey on the weak." I'm sure you're really one to talk sh.it in real life to anyone. And good job "outing" my joke account that I'm pretty sure everyone knew about. Oh no I didn't have money online and you gave me a stake....I must be a broke troll with no money. Right. Good talk, but seriously add me on facebook again so we can be best friends for life.
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All I saw was junior high cat fight in the title and thought there would be some hot pics or youtube videos. Damn
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^This......... boobies boobies boobies boobies..... no boobies?
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Was this the first PAD ever? If so Huck said something really deadpan along the lines of "ohhh the show 'll go down the tubes" in response to Hellmuth saying he wasn't going to play anymore. I found it mildly amusing.
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I thought it had potential to be a good thread.
Holy crap are you telling me i finally made a good thread!? WOOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :club:
Was this the first PAD ever? If so Huck said something really deadpan along the lines of "ohhh the show 'll go down the tubes" in response to Hellmuth saying he wasn't going to play anymore. I found it mildly amusing
You know if you're talking about the PAD where Phil Hellmuth freaked out and left the table tbh I actually think he had a good case there. Granted the fact that he was playing really bad and tilting was an antoginist for it but he still had a really big decision to make with that hand against Annie Duke and nobody would shut up. They actually made that rule official after that episode that if a player asks a table to keep quiet the table has to shut up. Not that I like the way Phil acts at the table sometimes but i get where he was coming from in that particular situation.
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I just rembered a couple.Daniel Negreanu to Mike Matusow after Sexton called Mike's bluff with 73 offsuite, "You just got pooned! Doosh doosh doosh!"< *Making hand movements indicating that Matusow just got spanked.Mike Matusow after getting knocked out of the main event with AK vs AQ, "WHY!?? I DONT DESERVE THIS" *Crying.

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