Thinking Of Getting A Hooker

[nhlfan 0]

I'd imagine most hookers don't want to be photographed either. I don't have anything to really base my statement on though.

Actually a couple of the girls I saw from erosguide told me I could bring a camera or camcorder if I wanted to. I don't need that kind of evidence laying around.

[Chris E 0]

Well if it was a $10 crackwhore then yeah it would disgust me, but if was a clean attractive hooker, I would love to eat her out.

:oIf you were looking for a way to decorate your face with some puss-filled blistered red sores then thats the way to go about getting them.

[mase_gotsem 0]

trip report pls .. i always love a great hooker story . we need more of them id throw my few lots storys out there but it wld all end the same ..

[Actuary 3]

(I've done this maybe 5 times, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask.)

he he

if you've never had a hooker, I'll run you through the emotions.Stage 1 - sober, hitting the town to find a lady, for free. All geeked up about it, positive, thinking the world can't stop you tonight. Vagina will be yours, oh yes, it will be yoursStage 2 - after your third blow off from hot/cute chicks, you lower the standards a bit. Another blow off from a mediocre looking chick. Now you're upset, thinking "I just bought that slob a drink and she won't do me? ME? SKANK. What you don't realize until later is that you were pressing, desperate. So, you hit stage 3.Stage 3 - find another mediocre chick. Play it totally cool, she's digging you. Now, here comes the dilemma. You've played it cool, but are having a hard time making the smooth transition to asking for the sex because this pig thinks you are really into her, and she might be offended by your ham handed segue to sex. Of course, being the horny slob you are, you blow it and realize you just bought that whore two drinks and a shot. Now, you're down at $100 bucks on the night. Rationalization starts entering the picture, especially if you're a jew.Stage 4 - heading to the strip club. "Somebody will blow me in a strip club, those girls are easy." So, you enter the strip club, but at this point, you're pretty well bombed and can't control the stupid stuff that comes out of your mouth, so the first girl in a g string that approaches you, you ask her how much a blow job in the back room is. She informs you that she isn't that type of girl. In actuality, she is, but since she's still stripping, in her head, she hasn't made the full transition to whore, therefore, has no urge to be talked to like one. Stage 5 - the drive home. In South Fl, on my drive home, there are at least 5 whack shacks. Now, I'm not sure if you have them where you live, but we do. They advertise in the sports page as "massage parlors" or "lingerie shows" or whatever the pretext de jour might be. In reality, you walk in, they do a line up, you pick the girl, she takes in into a relatively private room, no door, just a curtain, to prevent rape, or something, and $40 goes to the house, and $120 for a beej and $160 for full service. So, like I said, you're on your way home, still horny, and you pass one of these places. You say screw it, I'll just goof around and see a lineup and go home. It'll be funny, you say to yourself. So, you see the lineup and one of these girls happens to be cute. You're surprised and still horny. You pick her, but you say it's just to talk, negotiate her down to $50 bucks and if she agrees, do it, if not, leave with a good story. Now, she gets in the room with you, touches you a little and before she says another word, you give her your debit card and say "charge the full service package please thank you". One thing leads to another, you are at the front desk signing for your $200 bucks, happy as hell that you're about to bang this girl and get head, no muss no fuss.Stage 6 - you have really bad sex because the beej is with a condom and the sex is silly because you are just trying to get off and don't care about this girl, and she's making all the sounds like she's enjoying it. Now, you know she's faking them just so you'll get off quicker, but since you're so analytical, that kind of ruins the experience, because nobody plays you for a fool, NOBODY. Also, you're kind of drunk and your johnson is partially numb from beer pecker. Anyway, you cum, get dressed, happily walk out without any needless chit chat.Stage 7 - go home, get an enjoyable night sleep, mission accomplished, basically. Now, you wake up the next morning, shake off the cobwebs, get a text from a buddy to get breakfast. Walk over, grab your wallet and see the $200 credit card receipt, and the exact thought that comes to mind at that exact minute will be "Why didn't I just go home and jerk off?"Stage 8 - then, if money isn't an object, you'll eventually be like your friends and stop going out to chase the vag, and either go straight to the jerk joint, or become a Craigslist regular. Or so I hear.

Perfect. Absolutely exact way it went down, except for steps 1-3. I went straight to 4, alone (after heavy drinking at the bar). And add Step 9 (or in my case, Step 6): Explain odd inocuous looking non-descript charge to the wife when she opens the bill. (why did she choose this month to open the bill?)also add to Step 6: Getting a post release deep shoulder massage and barefoot walk on. Probalby be nice; but I've dislocared my shoulder before and have trouble puting my hands under my head while on my stomach, much les with someone walking on me.

Ausdoz = cu in 4yrs dan

I knew I liked you for some reason. Well done Sherlock.

[GetSprung 0]

I def. need to visit off topic more often. Well done.

[Canary3 1]

awesome thread. put me on the list that doesnt like to eat the gina.

[CBass1724 1]

awesome thread. put me on the list that doesnt like to eat the gina.

seriously? i love me some pussy to eat. as long as its fresh and clean, i'll dive in.

[chrozzo 19]

wait...what is a vagina?

[Actuary 3]

seriously? i love me some pussy to eat. as long as its fresh and clean, i'll dive in.

and the ass, too. But you really gotta know her hygiene

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

and the ass, too. But you really gotta know her hygiene

tru dat. Post shower is the way to go.Also, I just reread my long post and realized that I dropped a jew joke. When that was originally written, it was in response to my favorite jewish poster in the sick thread. No jews were hurt in the writing of that post. Just wanted to be clear. I'm only insensitive and crude in context.

[Sal Paradise 57]

I'm personally kinda on the fence about the roast beef sandwich eatin. I'm usually all into the idea and everything, see a hot girl and think "man I'd eat the hell out of that, both sides!" but when I actually get down there its more like, eh, I'd rather be doing something else.

[CBass1724 1]

and the ass, too. But you really gotta know her hygiene

tru dat. Post shower is the way to go.

absolutely on both fronts. i love the freaky girls who like their asses teased/fingered/licked/railed. post shower is the only way.

[mase_gotsem 0]

I'm personally kinda on the fence about the roast beef sandwich eatin. I'm usually all into the idea and everything, see a hot girl and think "man I'd eat the hell out of that, both sides!" but when I actually get down there its more like, eh, I'd rather be doing something else.

thats becouse your going down on dirty sluts and not the hot ones

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

thats becouse your going down on dirty sluts and not the hot ones

true story, my old roommate, who got tons of hot poon brought this hot girl home. He threw a finger or two in her, and while making out, he brought the fingers back near his face, and nearly threw up b/c her smell was so putrid.He chalked it up to a bad day, gave her a second go a couple of weeks later...same thing. Hilarious the way he told it.

[speedz99 145]

No jews were hurt in the writing of that post.

Oh, if only that was true.

I'm personally kinda on the fence about the roast beef sandwich eatin. I'm usually all into the idea and everything, see a hot girl and think "man I'd eat the hell out of that, both sides!" but when I actually get down there its more like, eh, I'd rather be doing something else.

The trick is to think about baseball while you're doing it. And counting sheep.

true story, my old roommate, who got tons of hot poon brought this hot girl home. He threw a finger or two in her, and while making out, he brought the fingers back near his face, and nearly threw up b/c her smell was so putrid.He chalked it up to a bad day, gave her a second go a couple of weeks later...same thing. Hilarious the way he told it.

I have yet to meet a guy that won't go back for the second try, just in case. I'm not sure if that's a credit to our gender or not.

[CBass1724 1]

true story, my old roommate, who got tons of hot poon brought this hot girl home. He threw a finger or two in her, and while making out, he brought the fingers back near his face, and nearly threw up b/c her smell was so putrid.He chalked it up to a bad day, gave her a second go a couple of weeks later...same thing. Hilarious the way he told it.

same thing happened to me back in college. it was like a b.o. type smell and it was impossible to get off the fingers even after scrubbing for a half hour. so yeah of course i tried it a 2nd and 3rd time with the same result. at least she could suck a dick and didn't mind doing so without benefits for her. even if she did mind, it's not like i cared.

[Jeepster80125 0]

from tsgThe Girls On The BusMiami prostitution bust nets a rolling house of ill reputeJUNE 26--Miami Beach cops have busted a rolling whorehouse that operated from a $250,000 bus and offered riders who paid a $40 cover charge lap dances and assorted sex acts. The bus and its six inhabitants were sidelined early Sunday morning after three undercover cops boarded the mobile brothel and observed women brazenly offering sex and lap dances (oral sex, cops said, cost patrons $100). As seen in the mug shots on the following pages, police arrested Kimberly Daniels, 23 (below); Leighann Redding, 24; and Christine Morteh, 29, on prostitution charges. Cops identified Morteh as the bus's madame. Two other women, Princess Thigpen, 24, and Leah Harris, 25, were hit with lesser violations. Driver Scott Clyde, 41, was charged with several counts, including transportation for the purpose of prostitution and possession of a controlled substance (he was carrying a Viagra stash).

[Sal Paradise 57]

miami beach and those were the best looking hookers they could find for this operation? really?

[Ouch-8s 4]

miami beach and those were the best looking hookers they could find for this operation? really?

i cannot imagine paying money to fuck any of those girls. hell, i wouldn't do it even if they paid me.

[Jadaki 0]

miami beach and those were the best looking hookers they could find for this operation? really?

The first girl wouldn't be bad if she did something with her hair, the rest not so much.

[CardWarfare 4]

I could've sworn...I mean, I vaguely remember....Wasn't there that guy who....?Oh yeah... http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...p;#entry2461495

[sacopoo 0]

Well I did it!! So I would not disapoint, I actually got a hooker. Thank you for the encouragment of those who supported me in this thread. I think the trip report deserves its own thread.

[powerpoker 0]

Well I did it!! So I would not disapoint, I actually got a hooker. Thank you for the encouragment of those who supported me in this thread. I think the trip report deserves its own thread.

first off, awesomesecond where is this report i need something to read.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

I'm personally kinda on the fence about the roast beef sandwich eatin. I'm usually all into the idea and everything, see a hot girl and think "man I'd eat the hell out of that, both sides!" but when I actually get down there its more like, eh, I'd rather be doing something else.

Wearing a butt plug helps you stay focused and attentive, give it a try next time you're south of the border.

[sacopoo 0]

first off, awesomesecond where is this report i need something to read.

almost done.