Serious Thread, Seriously, All Opinions Must Be Serious.

[Loismustdie 0]

I paid off roughly 20 to 25% of our debt last year. I should be entitled to some fun. If I was doing nothing, and just being an ass all day, I would get it. I'm not, therefore I don't get it. Let me out it this way- if she decided that me spending money was a reason to leave, so be it. This is non-negotiable. I work my ass off and as much as I like to have fun I also get shit taken care of. (Of course, not always on her time table.) I can be selfish. I am selfish. She is as well. This isn't about "She did it too' this is about one party willing to look at themselves and make changes and one who doesn't change a damn thing. At some point it is perfectly acceptable to just go, "No more. Whats the reward? I do X and X and X and X and X, and you do nothing?" Relationships SHOULD have two parties working together, what happens when they don't? What if just one works at it? Eventually, because, well, it would be ****ing nuts to keep doing the same shit over and over, the working party stops working. It's still disgusting that the ones in this thread that makes sense are the atheists, and what guys like Braveheart fail to realize is I already did the sacrifice everything for her thing, I can with good conscience say that I did it. I am not doing it now. The question is, do I want to? Would I be happier just seeing my kid 3 or 4 days a week (which with my schedule is kind of what happens anyway) and not being around this person who if I decided to do everything her way past experience says she still will not be happy, and will continue to find ways to try and make me feel not good enough, because this is what she does. That's not being an *******, that's thinking the situation through and making a decision that makes sense, no matter how hard it is. This is why, generally, counseling doesn't start with "You are a selfish *******." My mom shocked me one day when she blamed a mans cheating on a woman one time. Blew me away. I asked what her thinking was and her answer basically was "You know her. What he did wasn't right, but it is easy to see that she drove him to that." I still know that man, he is a good guy and faithful to his new wife of 16 years. He is a very good man by this world standards. Biblically the very best of men can be absolutely destroyed by a woman if you let it happen. Once again, 2 sides to everything. FYI, I am not in a bad mood today, I am tired but I really am surprised at how ungodly Bravehearts responses have been. Except for the porn thing, I agree that porn is not a good thing. Everything else has been a crock of shit.

[brvheart 1,752]

I paid off roughly 20 to 25% of our debt last year. I should be entitled to some fun. If I was doing nothing, and just being an ass all day, I would get it. I'm not, therefore I don't get it. Let me out it this way- if she decided that me spending money was a reason to leave, so be it. This is non-negotiable. I work my ass off and as much as I like to have fun I also get shit taken care of. (Of course, not always on her time table.) I can be selfish. I am selfish. She is as well. This isn't about "She did it too' this is about one party willing to look at themselves and make changes and one who doesn't change a damn thing. At some point it is perfectly acceptable to just go, "No more. Whats the reward? I do X and X and X and X and X, and you do nothing?" Relationships SHOULD have two parties working together, what happens when they don't? What if just one works at it? Eventually, because, well, it would be ****ing nuts to keep doing the same shit over and over, the working party stops working. It's still disgusting that the ones in this thread that makes sense are the atheists, and what guys like Braveheart fail to realize is I already did the sacrifice everything for her thing, I can with good conscience say that I did it. I am not doing it now. The question is, do I want to? Would I be happier just seeing my kid 3 or 4 days a week (which with my schedule is kind of what happens anyway) and not being around this person who if I decided to do everything her way past experience says she still will not be happy, and will continue to find ways to try and make me feel not good enough, because this is what she does. That's not being an *******, that's thinking the situation through and making a decision that makes sense, no matter how hard it is. This is why, generally, counseling doesn't start with "You are a selfish *******." My mom shocked me one day when she blamed a mans cheating on a woman one time. Blew me away. I asked what her thinking was and her answer basically was "You know her. What he did wasn't right, but it is easy to see that she drove him to that." I still know that man, he is a good guy and faithful to his new wife of 16 years. He is a very good man by this world standards. Biblically the very best of men can be absolutely destroyed by a woman if you let it happen. Once again, 2 sides to everything. FYI, I am not in a bad mood today, I am tired but I really am surprised at how ungodly Bravehearts responses have been. Except for the porn thing, I agree that porn is not a good thing. Everything else has been a crock of shit.

I don't even need to respond to the bolded parts. It's easy to see the problem.

It's still disgusting that the ones in this thread that makes sense are the atheists, and what guys like Braveheart fail to realize is I already did the sacrifice everything for her thing

What are you talking about dude? No one in this thread knows you or your wife... and we certainly have no idea what you've done. Get a clue.

[Loismustdie 0]

Obviously I wasn't saying that every sinner commits suicide. You're the one being stupid. But we'll leave this for another day when you're not in such a bad mood.This illistrates exactly my point much better than I ever could. "Ok, I'll say sorry Mom, but Timmy has to say sorry too! (..and I'm not really sorry)" Your entire attitude is, "What about me?". Don't worry about the speck in her eye, worry about the LOG in your eye.LOLThis is wrong, but you're not ready to talk obviously. (Dr. Laura FTW) Also, I could care less how she behaves. You shouldn't have married her then. The day you got married, what did you use for your vows? Hopefully you had crickets chirping your vows.I would think it would be pretty easy, even in your current state of mind, to see that you are saying.... "Yes I have done a bunch wrong and I should apologize... but THERE ARE TWO SIDES!! SHE'S A BITCH!! SHE ALWAYS HAS BEEN!! .... and God says I can walk away." NOPE. Old Testament said that, not New Testament. Even Sal, as dumb as he is, could see as clear as day that the New Testament says don't do it.Did you listen to the sermon link? I would like your opinion on it.

No, I didn't, and you are mistaken. "Don't do it, for if you do, this the result." Then it gives the result- you cause her and you to commit adultery if either remarries. Which is not an issue if you don't remarry now, is it? It would not be an easy choice but I know of a few men, very godly men close to me who did all they could and then left there unreasonable wife. They decided that life would be more fruitful being alone.

[brvheart 1,752]

No, I didn't, and you are mistaken. "Don't do it, for if you do, this the result." Then it gives the result- you cause her and you to commit adultery if either remarries. Which is not an issue if you don't remarry now, is it? It would not be an easy choice but I know of a few men, very godly men close to me who did all they could and then left there unreasonable wife. They decided that life would be more fruitful being alone.

What are you responding to. I don't follow you.

[Loismustdie 0]

I don't even need to respond to the bolded parts. It's easy to see the problem.What are you talking about dude? No one in this thread knows you or your wife... and we certainly have no idea what you've done. Get a clue.

So, then, in a relationship you should never consider what you want, what makes you happy? Ever? Never? Really? That's absolutely insane. INSANE.

[brvheart 1,752]

Malachi 2:16: 16"For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

[Loismustdie 0]

What are you responding to. I don't follow you.

Your contention that you can never divorce. You are wrong. Seriously.

[Loismustdie 0]

Malachi 2:16: 16"For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

He sure does, so you had better make sure that when you do it you did all you could.

[brvheart 1,752]

Mark 10: 9"What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

[brvheart 1,752]

Also, did I ever say you couldn't get divorced? no.Did I ever say that it was a sin? no.Did I ever say anything about your plans to never remarry? no.I'm assuming that you're saying that my quotes from the Bible are what is unbiblical?

[brvheart 1,752]

Your contention that you can never divorce. You are wrong. Seriously.

I said almost never, and spoke of the seriousness of which God takes marriage.

He sure does, so you had better make sure that when you do it you did all you could.

You haven't. You're a selfish a-hole. (Who I still love, btw)

[Loismustdie 0]

Also, did I ever say you couldn't get divorced? no.Did I ever say that it was a sin? no.Did I ever say anything about your plans to never remarry? no.I'm assuming that you're saying that my quotes from the Bible are what is unbiblical?

Try post #30. Your first one. Oops.

[brvheart 1,752]

Try post #30. Your first one. Oops.

I'm now officially convinced that you don't read my posts.

well, maybe never...Matthew 531"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.But almost never.

[Loismustdie 0]

I said almost never, and spoke of the seriousness of which God takes marriage.You haven't. You're a selfish a-hole. (Who I still love, btw)

There is a reason why I focused on me in the OP. I don't want to talk to much about my wifes part in this. You can take my word that I have put many years of blood sweat and tears into this relationship and that it's not easy to say that I wonder at times if it will ever be returned. I love you to, man.

[Loismustdie 0]

I'm now officially convinced that you don't read my posts.

No, I read it, it's just you seemed to escalate to never as the conversation went on. My bad.

[brvheart 1,752]

There is a reason why I focused on me in the OP. I don't want to talk to much about my wifes part in this. You can take my word that I have put many years of blood sweat and tears into this relationship and that it's not easy to say that I wonder at times if it will ever be returned. I love you to, man.

Based on all your posts in this thread I am forced to not believe you. But I'll pray for you, and hope that you can see your wife through God's eyes, not your eyes. Serving is hard. Even harder is to serve without WANTING it to be returned, but that's Jesus in a nutshell. Are you taking up your cross daily? You obviously want a divorce, so go ahead and get it. God will forgive you... right? (hint: Romans 6). Just don't get re-married and when you decide to realize that God didn't let you jump out of his hand (John 10) then you can reconcile yourself with her. Hopefully she doesn't get remarried first. I didn't see you ever answer. Is your wife saved?

[Loismustdie 0]

Based on all your posts in this thread I am forced to not believe you. But I'll pray for you, and hope that you can see your wife through God's eyes, not your eyes. Serving is hard. Even harder is to serve without WANTING it to be returned, but that's Jesus in a nutshell. Are you taking up your cross daily? You obviously want a divorce, so go ahead and get it. God will forgive you... right? (hint: Romans 6). Just don't get re-married and when you decide to realize that God didn't let you jump out of his hand (John 10) then you can reconcile yourself with her. Hopefully she doesn't get remarried first. I didn't see you ever answer. Is your wife saved?

I DO NOT want a divorce. If I did, I would just do it. I want her to want to serve as much as I do when I do. I ain't Jesus. I'm just a dude who wants a wife that works as hard as he does when he does. That's called a normal relationship. I just want normal. No, my wife has not been saved. She has issues with God. Also, you not believing me is your issue- have you ever known me to not be brutally honest, even when I look bad, like now? Your doubt is not appropriate in this case, but whatever.

[brvheart 1,752]

I DO NOT want a divorce. If I did, I would just do it. I want her to want to serve as much as I do when I do. I ain't Jesus. I'm just a dude who wants a wife that works as hard as he does when he does. That's called a normal relationship. I just want normal. No, my wife has not been saved. She has issues with God. Also, you not believing me is your issue- have you ever known me to not be brutally honest, even when I look bad, like now? Your doubt is not appropriate in this case, but whatever.

Sure, I trust you to be honest, I just think you're lying to yourself as well. It's pretty obvious that you are not following what the Bible describes as household hierarchy. I understand that your wife does nothing and not being saved makes it 100% worse. The point is this.... you are not normal. You are saved. You know the truth. You need to follow God's plan for leadership in your home. The Bible says that your house will fail without a leader, and it's true. You need to make sure that you serve her constantly and without need or desire for reciprocation. When she sees that in you, she will see God. Also, to say you're not Jesus is meaningless, because as you know, you should desire to be like him.

[David_Nicoson 1]

I just wanted to express that money issues are hard.Money isn't trivial, as much as we'd like to pretend that it is. Time is money. Time is your life.

[brvheart 1,752]

I just wanted to express that money issues are hard.Money isn't trivial, as much as we'd like to pretend that it is. Time is money. Time is your life.

OH DANG.... I meant to tell you this earlier Lois. You should go through Financial Peace University with your wife. You can search for a class starting in your zip code... http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/home/It's $90, but I'll send you a check if you join the class.It's 13 weeks.Super SavingIn this lesson, Dave explains the Seven Baby Steps that will guide you throughout FPU. You will also learn the three key reasons why you should save money—and why you must start now! Relating With MoneyThis lesson will teach spouses how to communicate and work together toward success. Also, singles will learn the importance of teamwork and parents will find out how to teach their kids about money.Cash Flow PlanningUnlock the secret of developing a monthly spending plan that really works.Dumping DebtIt’s time to debunk the myths that most people believe about debt! In this lesson, Dave Ramsey reveals the truth about the credit lies and gives you a plan for walking out of debt with confidence.Credit Sharks in SuitsWhat is a credit score, anyway? Join Dave as he unpacks your credit rating and shows you how to handle collectors when they call.Buyer BewareDave Ramsey draws on decades of experience to reveal the power and influence that marketing has on your everyday buying decisions. Let the buyer beware!Clause and EffectIn this lesson, Dave walks you through the world of insurance, carefully explaining what you need—and what you need to avoid.That's Not Good Enough!Discover the seldom-used secrets of buying only big, big bargains—every time! Before you know it, you’ll be saying “That’s not good enough!”Of Mice and Mutual FundsDave breaks through the jargon surrounding long-term investing and empowers you to make your own decisions about your investments!From Fruition to TuitionDave walks you through the maze of retirement options and helps you figure out the right path for you. You will also learn how to plan for college so your kids can graduate debt free!Working in Your StrengthsThis lesson will show you how to avoid dead-end or mind-numbing jobs and provide tips for job hunting, writing a résumé, and acing an interview. Plus, you’ll learn tips for finding extra jobs if you need cash to attack your debt snowball. Real Estate and MortgagesDave draws on over 20 years of real estate experience to teach you how to win when buying or selling your home. Plus, he’ll dissect all of the common mortgage options available today, showing you what to choose—and what to avoid. The Great MisunderstandingWarning! This lesson will challenge the way you think about money. Dave will show you how generous giving can completely revolutionize your attitude and improve your finances, business and relationships.

[Loismustdie 0]

OH DANG.... I meant to tell you this earlier Lois. You should go through Financial Peace University with your wife. You can search for a class starting in your zip code... http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/home/It's $90, but I'll send you a check if you join the class.It's 13 weeks.Super SavingIn this lesson, Dave explains the Seven Baby Steps that will guide you throughout FPU. You will also learn the three key reasons why you should save money—and why you must start now! Relating With MoneyThis lesson will teach spouses how to communicate and work together toward success. Also, singles will learn the importance of teamwork and parents will find out how to teach their kids about money.Cash Flow PlanningUnlock the secret of developing a monthly spending plan that really works.Dumping DebtIt’s time to debunk the myths that most people believe about debt! In this lesson, Dave Ramsey reveals the truth about the credit lies and gives you a plan for walking out of debt with confidence.Credit Sharks in SuitsWhat is a credit score, anyway? Join Dave as he unpacks your credit rating and shows you how to handle collectors when they call.Buyer BewareDave Ramsey draws on decades of experience to reveal the power and influence that marketing has on your everyday buying decisions. Let the buyer beware!Clause and EffectIn this lesson, Dave walks you through the world of insurance, carefully explaining what you need—and what you need to avoid.That's Not Good Enough!Discover the seldom-used secrets of buying only big, big bargains—every time! Before you know it, you’ll be saying “That’s not good enough!”Of Mice and Mutual FundsDave breaks through the jargon surrounding long-term investing and empowers you to make your own decisions about your investments!From Fruition to TuitionDave walks you through the maze of retirement options and helps you figure out the right path for you. You will also learn how to plan for college so your kids can graduate debt free!Working in Your StrengthsThis lesson will show you how to avoid dead-end or mind-numbing jobs and provide tips for job hunting, writing a résumé, and acing an interview. Plus, you’ll learn tips for finding extra jobs if you need cash to attack your debt snowball. Real Estate and MortgagesDave draws on over 20 years of real estate experience to teach you how to win when buying or selling your home. Plus, he’ll dissect all of the common mortgage options available today, showing you what to choose—and what to avoid. The Great MisunderstandingWarning! This lesson will challenge the way you think about money. Dave will show you how generous giving can completely revolutionize your attitude and improve your finances, business and relationships.

I work in fianance there is nothing about money I don't know at this point. Implementation is something else entirely. Thanks for the offer, though.

[Loismustdie 0]

Sure, I trust you to be honest, I just think you're lying to yourself as well. It's pretty obvious that you are not following what the Bible describes as household hierarchy. I understand that your wife does nothing and not being saved makes it 100% worse. The point is this.... you are not normal. You are saved. You know the truth. You need to follow God's plan for leadership in your home. The Bible says that your house will fail without a leader, and it's true. You need to make sure that you serve her constantly and without need or desire for reciprocation. When she sees that in you, she will see God. Also, to say you're not Jesus is meaningless, because as you know, you should desire to be like him.

Sure, but I also know that I am not Jesus and as fun as it would be to pretend that I need nothing from my wife I would be lying to myself pretending that I don't. At some point reality needs to come into play.

[brvheart 1,752]

I work in fianance there is nothing about money I don't know at this point. Implementation is something else entirely. Thanks for the offer, though.

If you think that I learned anything about finance from that class you would be wrong. I'm also well versed in finances. The whole point is for accountability. This weeks task for me was start a bank account in a bank I don't currently use and deposit $1000 into a money market account. This is the start of my 'emergency' fund which I need to treat as insurance instead of an investment. Over time this fund should be 6 months worth of expenses, which is about $50k give or take. I have never done this until this week. I save 12% of every check in my 401K, but I've never had a savings / emergency fund. If it's your task for the week, then it's easy to implement.

[brvheart 1,752]

Sure, but I also know that I am not Jesus and as fun as it would be to pretend that I need nothing from my wife I would be lying to myself pretending that I don't. At some point reality needs to come into play.

She has no reason to not be selfish, she is not saved. You need to show her the love of God day in and day out and be patient with God's timing. Your needs are irrelevant... Your wife is headed toward hell.

[Loismustdie 0]

She has no reason to not be selfish, she is not saved. You need to show her the love of God day in and day out and be patient with God's timing. Your needs are irrelevant... Your wife is headed toward hell.

Worse, she is headed for an ass whoopin she don't get her shit together. Nuff said. And,my needs are not irrelevant, far from it. If that was the case, the scripture would have said,"Likewise, wives, don't worry. Your husband needs nothing. The end."