Wouldn't It Be Great To Turn On The Tv And Hear

[cubsfan44 0]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENTAL CANDIDATE, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? 'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraqregime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraqconflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain ,Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help wit h a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? CallFrance . In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China . I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tick ets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.' Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness inAmerica . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America . Thank you and good night. 'If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

[Southern Buddhist 1]

ScriptPro may be on to something.US foreign aid to all other countries combined is less than 0.1% of GNP. Social Security is nearly 50% of non-military spending, and military spending is 50% of the complete budget (so it's roughly 50% military, 25% Social Security/Medicare, 19% debt service on national debt, and 6% all other programs combined). Do the math -- cutting our foreign aid does not even begin to pay for the Iraq misadventure, nor is it a drop in the bucket to Social Security."To terrorists: screw with us and we'll hunt you down and eliminate you"? Like we've done so efficiently with bin Laden?"Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet."? It wasn't that that earned us their enmity -- it was our military. Our work spreading vaccinations, digging wells, and eradicating disease won us allies. It was the Marshall Plan that kept Europe on our side during the Cold War. When we spread a good life, we win -- and it's harder for terrorists to win recruits from a comfortable middle class that has something to lose. It's when we spread landmines and bullets that we lose. On 9/12, the whole world was on our side. It was the Iraq invasion that pissed all that goodwill away.That speech might play to a Klan rally, but it doesn't work in the real world.

[cubsfan44 0]

ScriptPro may be on to something.US foreign aid to all other countries combined is less than 0.1% of GNP. Social Security is nearly 50% of non-military spending, and military spending is 50% of the complete budget (so it's roughly 50% military, 25% Social Security/Medicare, 19% debt service on national debt, and 6% all other programs combined). Do the math -- cutting our foreign aid does not even begin to pay for the Iraq misadventure, nor is it a drop in the bucket to Social Security."To terrorists: screw with us and we'll hunt you down and eliminate you"? Like we've done so efficiently with bin Laden?"Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet."? It wasn't that that earned us their enmity -- it was our military. Our work spreading vaccinations, digging wells, and eradicating disease won us allies. It was the Marshall Plan that kept Europe on our side during the Cold War. When we spread a good life, we win -- and it's harder for terrorists to win recruits from a comfortable middle class that has something to lose. It's when we spread landmines and bullets that we lose. On 9/12, the whole world was on our side. It was the Iraq invasion that pissed all that goodwill away.That speech might play to a Klan rally, but it doesn't work in the real world.

lol lighten up bro

[Southern Buddhist 1]

lol lighten up bro

DARN -- I sort of suspected a joke, but swallowed the bait anyway. You got me.

[weishan14 0]

... about a county fair, And how we cleaned up the air, how everybody learned to care Sry, but I could just hear Anne Murray singing in the background.

[BigLebowski 0]

That could be the worst 7th grade "what if" paper I have ever read.

[SlapStick 0]

No

[Nimue1995 1]

No

Shame on you Slapstick for bringing this stupid thread back up to the top. It was worthless when it was first posted and still is.

[LongLiveYorke 38]

No

[SuitedAces21 2,723]

Problem with things like this, is that whether or not it is a joke is irrelevant.Too many people out there actually think like this.

[Balloon guy 158]

Problem with things like this, is that whether or not it is a joke is irrelevant.Too many people out there actually think like this.

Which thing is wrong?That some countries don't support us and yet take our aid?That some countries do support us all the time and deserve some perks besides good seats at the National's hockey games?That the UN is mostly corrupt and in-effective?That they abuse diplomatic immunity, ( can't blame them I would too )Or that Canada needs to watch out because it's pissing of the wrong rodeo clown?

[SuitedAces21 2,723]

Which thing is wrong?That some countries don't support us and yet take our aid?That some countries do support us all the time and deserve some perks besides good seats at the National's hockey games?That the UN is mostly corrupt and in-effective?That they abuse diplomatic immunity, ( can't blame them I would too )Or that Canada needs to watch out because it's pissing of the wrong rodeo clown?

I always see you arguing politics and I can never tell if you are joking or not. LEVELING, I think they call it.And so, I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

[copernicus 0]

I always see you arguing politics and I can never tell if you are joking or not. LEVELING, I think they call it.

The truest things are said in jest.

[SuitedAces21 2,723]

The truest things are said in jest.

are they?

[Balloon guy 158]

I always see you arguing politics and I can never tell if you are joking or not. LEVELING, I think they call it.

If I'm wrong, then I was joking, If I'm right, then I was being serious.

And so, I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

All I want is the Truth!

[Nimue1995 1]

If I'm wrong, then I was joking, If I'm right, then I was being serious.All I want is the Truth!

BG YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

[copernicus 0]

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