King Of Off Topic

[El Guapo 8]

Did Rose just call me old? And whats a home run bat? I want one.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

And whats a home run bat? I want one.

[speedz99 145]

Can we use golf analogies or something?

Probably not...I know how a lot of golfers play, but not their personalities. Plus I'm too lazy to think about it for more than 15 seconds.

At least 5 times in the last few weeks, I've been about to post something, when I thought: "Wait, is this a new thread? It's going to count. I dunno, if I put this ball in play it's definitely going to hurt my ratios. I'll just let somebody else handle this one." The most likely result is that a handful of good posters will pull back on the reins a little, but probably only the ones like me that (a) have "something to lose"* and (B) actually give a fuck.

This is a problem for me. One of the best qualities any poster can have is not giving a fuck if any given joke kills or falls flat.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

you're a natural at this

[JoeyJoJo 18]

you're a natural at this

groan

[Tactical Bear 3]

Ugh, sterile use of statistics = (Picture of Diabolical Chinaman)Do we not consider the qualitative, organic, more subjective stuff? That Coke *may*be better than ****ing Pepsi even though Pepsi is technically 'sweeter'?Is a 375 foot scraper HR judged precisely the same as a 525 foot bomb?

First, don't be that "STATISTICS ARE FOR NERDS" guy. Sure, things like "heart" and "desire" and "clutchitude" are difficult to quantify, which is why we:Attempt to only evaluate what the evaluee can control. A good measure of performance removes things like luck and context. Attempt to use the largest sample possible. There can be a lot of variance in small samples, to which anyone who has played a significant amount of limit hold-em can attest, since there's no skill in shorthanded LHE in the shortrun, just variance. If a player can consistently hit 335-foot wall scrapers, than he is really of no less value than the guy that hits 500-foot bombs at the same rate. Now, those cheapies will start turning into flyouts sooner rather than later (see: Mauer, Joe), and as long as we recognize that HR totals in the shortrun are a result of variance/luck, we won't draw any erroneous conclusions.Finally, we decide what we are measuring, and what we're using it for. Are we trying to judge past performance and impact? Or are we building a model to help us predict future performance?In any case, this is a necessarily subjective exercize, but Joey's attempts to rationally and objectively evaluate every poster's performance is both laudable and -- since I won the last bracket -- probably, like, perfect.

"Being liked" is for faggots (and self-loathing Jews).

This is part of your inimitable charm, and why, if you posted even semi-frequently, you'd have a really good chance at being the #1 overall seed in the tournament.As an aside, I am both a faggot and, even though I'm not Jewish by any measure, the closest thing to a self-loathing Jew I know (not counting famous people and fictional characters and shit.)

[Jadaki 0]

It's better than the nickname he gave me.

Not likely.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

It doesn't matter. You all have to tolerate me because I can do things no one else can do. "Being liked" is for faggots (and self-loathing Jews).

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

FMP

[JoeyJoJo 18]

This is where BigD got the idea for his fixed post.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

FMP

I know that wasn't there before my post...Did you take mine or do we think alike?

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

I know that wasn't there before my post...Did you take mine or do we think alike?

we think alike. My first ty cobb photo when I FMP didn't show up right, so I got a different one.

[renaedawn 1]

an example would be getting involved with a land whore in asia

Out of all the funny shit in this thread - and there was a lot of funny shit in this thread - this made me laugh the longest. I re-giggled twice.

[SuitedAces21 2,722]

i'm with TB on this, i'm scared to post anything.

[AmScray 355]

Not especially. Just biding my time until you make another ban-worthy post.

Since I am in jeapordy of repeat-offender classification, the next time I go down, I'll be away for a long, long time; possibly, for good. Because of this, I've had to develop a new strategy to 'be me' without 'being me'. You will see this unfold over the coming months.In short, I can no longer make fun of Blacks, Jews or Asians (the latter being the most painful). Making fun of blacks is like shooting fish in a barrel, so that's no big deal. Jews- they've been piping their bullshit into your brains via the TV for generations, thus have cemented a rarefied type of holy-high protected species status that cannot be overcome with humor. They control your brains, and they will not let you stand for that stuff. Asians? This hurts. This hurts bad. There's always been a great deal of 'value' in making fun of them, because it's so unexpected, yet there is just so much to make fun of; stuff that is generally untapped in the realms of racial humor. Sadry, I have to give them up.I've decided to wrap all my racial humor into one bag. I'm 'all in'. From now on, I'm going after the Hawaiians. No, they aren't as fertile a category as blacks, making fun of them isn't as "shocking" as making fun the Jews and whatever ground is broken in making fun of them isn't nearly as meaningful as it is with otherwise trailblazing gook humor, but they seem to be my only out.It isn't likely that they'll be many people intimately connected to native Hawaiians to lament (and complain) over my jokes, plus, there's just enough about them that's funny to potentially make for a valuable little niche (also, there IS an Asian component there, so it isn't like I'm going Cold Turkey)So, watch the **** out, Hawaiians. I've been put in a position where I'm having to make lemonade out of your rotten lemons- and if it's Hawaiians making that lemonade, it's probably filled with ground beef, cheese, six cups of sugar and served on a rock so you have to lick off whatever you don't eat with your hands.

[grocery_mony 8]

Everytime Scram posts I have to read it. That is all.

[speedz99 145]

there's just enough about them that's funny to potentially make for a valuable little niche.

Such as? I mean, obviously if there's anyone that could find way to make fun of Hawaiians it's you, but I'm not sure what kind of fodder there happens to be just lying around. Some of them are fat...a few play the ukulele...they eat spam...actually, you're not that far off from that description yourself. Substitute the guitar for the ukulele and corned beef for spam, and all of a sudden Finkle is Einhorn.Wait, am I ruining punchlines here?

[AmScray 355]

Such as? I mean, obviously if there's anyone that could find way to make fun of Hawaiians it's you, but I'm not sure what kind of fodder there happens to be just lying around. Some of them are fat...a few play the ukulele...they eat spam...actually, you're not that far off from that description yourself. Substitute the guitar for the ukulele and corned beef for spam, and all of a sudden Finkle is Einhorn.Wait, am I ruining punchlines here?

Look. Don't tip my hand, asshole. It isn't like I have a lot to work with here. All I need is you coming along and in your "look at me I'm a big hook-nosed sheenie who can use my Jew sorcery to predict the future" sardonic way, killing off what little I have.

[CaneBrain 95]

Look. Don't tip my hand, asshole. It isn't like I have a lot to work with here. All I need is you coming along and in your "look at me I'm a big hook-nosed sheenie who can use my Jew sorcery to predict the future" sardonic way, killing off what little I have.

I cant stop laughing at this. I dont even find scram's jewish stuff offensive. It's more like a series of whiny backhanded compliments.

[Balloon guy 158]

Speaking of Spam, I went to the Spam musuem this summer.Well worth the 4 hour drive if you ask me.Don't know why the Hawiaiians like it so much, but probably because it has very few letters

[AmScray 355]

Don't know why the Hawiaiians like it so much, but probably because it has very few letters

9/10.See, retards?There is potential with the Hawaiians.

[brvheart 1,752]

Look. Don't tip my hand, asshole. It isn't like I have a lot to work with here. All I need is you coming along and in your "look at me I'm a big hook-nosed sheenie who can use my Jew sorcery to predict the future" sardonic way, killing off what little I have.

I'm probably in love with this post.

[speedz99 145]

Look. Don't tip my hand, asshole. It isn't like I have a lot to work with here. All I need is you coming along and in your "look at me I'm a big hook-nosed sheenie who can use my Jew sorcery to predict the future" sardonic way, killing off what little I have.

And on this fantastic note, I'm going to bed, where I'll inevitably wonder where "sheenie" comes from and wish that I had googled it instead of rubbing one out and forgetting all about it before shutting down my computer.

[BigDMcGee 3,352]

Asians? This hurts. This hurts bad. There's always been a great deal of 'value' in making fun of them, because it's so unexpected, yet there is just so much to make fun of; stuff that is generally untapped in the realms of racial humor. Sadry, I have to give them up.

As someone who delights in asian racial stereotypes, I feel your pain. But i've always gone for the pushing the boundries without breaking them sort of racial slurs over the years, always leaving in the air if I'm just being ironic, making a statement about racism itself, or really hate those shifty nips. You, on the other hand, have cared little about boundries over the years, and (appear) to delight purely in making the politically correct soil themselves in disgust over your comments. It will be a tough row to how from now on, Scram, and I doubt you'll make it. But I, for one, will miss you.

[Balloon guy 158]

9/10.See, retards?There is potential with the Hawaiians.

Then there's the royal tradition of marrying your sister...Probably because even they don't want to have to pronounce any new last names