simo_8ball 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Jesus+ Has his name above the door.+ Is the reason the day exists.+ He is God. Literally.+ Good at magic tricks.+ Has a beard.+ Offers path to heaven (if you live a good life)- He is a zombie.- Holier than thou attitude.- Sends you to hell if you don't love him enough.- Hasn't been seen or heard from in almost 2000 years.Father Christmas+ Brings joy to children's hearts.+ Brings presents to millions of people.+ Owns magic flying reindeer. I mean, how awesome is that?+ Can handle his drink. Seriously.+ Has a better beard than Jesus.+ Has a catchphrase: "Ho Ho Ho"- Runs sweat shop forcing midgets (marketed as elves to make it seem less cruel) to make toys all year round.- Gives rich kids more presents than poor kids.- Has fetish for kids sitting on his lap (paedophilic tendencies?).Who do you think is better? Who is more important? Who would win in a fight? These questions simply must be answered.Oh, and Merry Christmas all. Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye Hughes 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Jesus is a zombie!!!!!!!!! ZOMG!!!!11!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SantaClaus 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 C'MON PEOPLE!!!!!I EVEN POST HERE!!!!DO YOU SEE JESUS H. CHRIST AROUND HERE?VOTE FOR THE JOLLY GUY!!!!HO HO HO...MERRRRRRYYYYY CHRISTMAS!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
drcossack 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 C'MON PEOPLE!!!!!I EVEN POST HERE!!!!DO YOU SEE JESUS H. CHRIST AROUND HERE?VOTE FOR THE JOLLY GUY!!!!HO HO HO...MERRRRRRYYYYY CHRISTMAS!!!!!*paging the Jesus H. Christ account*Get your holy ass in here! Link to post Share on other sites
Jadaki 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Bear with me here. I just want to put you through this little exercise.Okay, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center, is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now at the end of each of the streets, are four people, okay? You following? Up here, we got a male-affectionate, easy-to-get-along-with, no political agenda lesbian. Okay? Now down here, we have a man-hating, angry-as-fuck, agenda-of-rage, bitter dyke. To this side, we got Santa Claus, right? And over to this side - Jesus. Which one's going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?... I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an S.A.T. question. Which one's going to get to the hundred dollar bill first - the male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or Jesus?The man-hating dyke.Good. Why?... BECAUSE THESE OTHER THREE ARE FIGMENTS OF YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION! Link to post Share on other sites
drcossack 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Bear with me here. I just want to put you through this little exercise.Okay, now see this? This is a four-way road, okay? And dead in the center, is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now at the end of each of the streets, are four people, okay? You following? Up here, we got a male-affectionate, easy-to-get-along-with, no political agenda lesbian. Okay? Now down here, we have a man-hating, angry-as-fuck, agenda-of-rage, bitter dyke. To this side, we got Santa Claus, right? And over to this side - Jesus. Which one's going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?... I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an S.A.T. question. Which one's going to get to the hundred dollar bill first - the male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or Jesus?The man-hating dyke.Good. Why?... BECAUSE THESE OTHER THREE ARE FIGMENTS OF YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION! :bubble_lol:I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying. Jadaki > God. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 :bubble_lol:I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying. Jadaki > God.I love Josh, too, but credit for that post goes to Kevin Smith. It was apropos for this thread. Jesus is God, therefore, Jesus wins. I'm a big fan of Santa, I mean, a big fan, but Jesus wins the battle hands down if he chooses to fight and not turn the other cheek in Jesus-fashion. I think Santa (being a Saint) doesn't fight. He concedes the fight to the Lord and then they have tea or something. Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Is this a disguised good vs. evil questions.Jesus = Son of GodSanta = anagram of Satan Link to post Share on other sites
runthemover 39 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 It's actually not a battle. It's a showdown. And, the video is here Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 It's actually not a battle. It's a showdown. And, the video is here I never get tired of watching that. Link to post Share on other sites
SantaClaus 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 I love Josh, too, but credit for that post goes to Kevin Smith. It was apropos for this thread. Jesus is God, therefore, Jesus wins. I'm a big fan of Santa, I mean, a big fan, but Jesus wins the battle hands down if he chooses to fight and not turn the other cheek in Jesus-fashion. I think Santa (being a Saint) doesn't fight. He concedes the fight to the Lord and then they have tea or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Jesus H Christ 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 Jesus H Christ, how the fuck am I losing 12-9. I swear to myself, if I lose this thing I'll smite you all, I swear I will. Link to post Share on other sites
Jadaki 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 I love Josh, too, but credit for that post goes to Kevin Smith. It was apropos for this thread.I did have to 86 the easter bunny and add your personal savior. Link to post Share on other sites
drcossack 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 I love Josh, too, but credit for that post goes to Kevin Smith. It was apropos for this thread. Jesus is God, therefore, Jesus wins. I'm a big fan of Santa, I mean, a big fan, but Jesus wins the battle hands down if he chooses to fight and not turn the other cheek in Jesus-fashion. I think Santa (being a Saint) doesn't fight. He concedes the fight to the Lord and then they have tea or something. Jesus H Christ, how the fuck am I losing 12-9. I swear to myself, if I lose this thing I'll smite you all, I swear I will.Try it. I dare you.I did have to 86 the easter bunny and add your personal savior.Understandable. The Easter Bunny sucks after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye Hughes 0 Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 - Hasn't been seen or heard from in almost 2000 years.Thank the Jews for this one Link to post Share on other sites
timwakefield 68 Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Thank the Jews for this one Link to post Share on other sites
FileError404 0 Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Jesus = Santa = HAM Link to post Share on other sites
fjl2nd 0 Posted December 26, 2007 Share Posted December 26, 2007 Jesus H Christ, how the fuck am I losing 12-9. I swear to myself, if I lose this thing I'll smite you all, I swear I will.LMAOI had to vote for you out of FEAR!! Link to post Share on other sites
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