PMJackson21 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Patrick, Thanks for being a part of last year's UltimateBet Online Championship. If you thought the 2006 stakes were impressive, wait until you see what's in store this year. If you haven't claimed your seats yet, you need to follow these directions, pronto: Find a mirror or other reflective surface. Look directly into it. Shake your head in disappointment. Ask yourself, "Self, what the hell am I thinking? Why haven't I entered UBOC?There's over $2 million at stake!!! Am I crazy???" Calm down. You're not crazy. Don't think like that. Breathe in. Breathe out. Hop on UltimateBet and claim your seat in one of 13 spectacular UBOC events for as little as $5. Tell the guy in the mirror where to go. Honestly, someone gets paid to come up with this stuff? It's a wonder why UB has fallen off the radar in comparison to Stars and FTP.Should I send this return email?Ultimate Bet Support & Management,Thank you for turning one of my previously favorite sites into a virtual graveyard. If I was impressed with how rapidly your site was deteriorating into garbage in 2006, then I was absolutely blown away with how much lower it could actually go in 2007. If you haven't gone to monster.com to look for new jobs, you need to follow these directions, pronto:1. Find a mirror or other reflective surface. Or better yet, bring up your lobby and look at the amount of players online.2. Bring up your competitors (oh, let's say pokerstars) and look at the amount of players online.3. Shake your head in disappointment.4. Ask yourself, "Self, how in the hell can a poker site that had a firm foothold in the market actually decline over the poker boom? People were literally foaming at the mouth to dump collectively millions of dollars on to web sites, and even when one of our biggest competitors withdrew from the US market, our site failed to draw players."5. Calm down. You're not a failure. Don't think like that. Breathe in. Breathe out. You just are horrible at customer service, knowing what your players want, and pretty much every aspect of the industry. 6. Hop on Ultimate Bet and make some more great additions in the vein of roshambo. Instead of drawing players to your site with better tournaments, guarantees, customer service, etc, spend all your time on adding pointless games. 7. Break before mentioned mirror, and continue to watch your Sunday major miss it's guarantee. Link to post Share on other sites
scram 1 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Man, I routed all UB email into my spam folder long ago... Link to post Share on other sites
Vick12 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Patrick, Thanks for being a part of last year's UltimateBet Online Championship. If you thought the 2006 stakes were impressive, wait until you see what's in store this year. If you haven't claimed your seats yet, you need to follow these directions, pronto: Find a mirror or other reflective surface. Look directly into it. Shake your head in disappointment. Ask yourself, "Self, what the hell am I thinking? Why haven't I entered UBOC?There's over $2 million at stake!!! Am I crazy???" Calm down. You're not crazy. Don't think like that. Breathe in. Breathe out. Hop on UltimateBet and claim your seat in one of 13 spectacular UBOC events for as little as $5. Tell the guy in the mirror where to go. Honestly, someone gets paid to come up with this stuff? It's a wonder why UB has fallen off the radar in comparison to Stars and FTP.Should I send this return email?Ultimate Bet Support & Management,Thank you for turning one of my previously favorite sites into a virtual graveyard. If I was impressed with how rapidly your site was deteriorating into garbage in 2006, then I was absolutely blown away with how much lower it could actually go in 2007. If you haven't gone to monster.com to look for new jobs, you need to follow these directions, pronto:1. Find a mirror or other reflective surface. Or better yet, bring up your lobby and look at the amount of players online.2. Bring up your competitors (oh, let's say pokerstars) and look at the amount of players online.3. Shake your head in disappointment.4. Ask yourself, "Self, how in the hell can a poker site that had a firm foothold in the market actually decline over the poker boom? People were literally foaming at the mouth to dump collectively millions of dollars on to web sites, and even when one of our biggest competitors withdrew from the US market, our site failed to draw players."5. Calm down. You're not a failure. Don't think like that. Breathe in. Breathe out. You just are horrible at customer service, knowing what your players want, and pretty much every aspect of the industry. 6. Hop on Ultimate Bet and make some more great additions in the vein of roshambo. Instead of drawing players to your site with better tournaments, guarantees, customer service, etc, spend all your time on adding pointless games. 7. Break before mentioned mirror, and continue to watch your Sunday major miss it's guarantee. PMJThat is all GOLD. I would be highly disapointed if you DIDN'T send that as a response!!!(If u don't want to....mind if I cut and paste????) Link to post Share on other sites
PMJackson21 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Man, I routed all UB email into my spam folder long ago...Heh me too, but I go through it to make sure nothing I want is in there. They tricked me because the title of the email was 'Your 2007 UBOC Registration', so I thought they might have given me a seat for FT'ing last year, or possibly my backers had pre-reg'd me. Link to post Share on other sites
PMJackson21 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 PMJThat is all GOLD. I would be highly disapointed if you DIDN'T send that as a response!!!(If u don't want to....mind if I cut and paste????)LOL by all means Link to post Share on other sites
TB17 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Sounds like something only Phil Hellmooooooth would come up with Link to post Share on other sites
scram 1 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 You srsly need to send that email.It's good. Link to post Share on other sites
zoo 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I guess I must be crazy for playing on Ultimate Bet almost exclusively for cash games and the odd tournament. I actually really like their tournament structure (if they increased the level timing to 15 minutes it would really be awesome). I am guessing that it appeals to me more because I am a low stakes player (up to $1/$2 cash games and max ~@25 buy-in tournaments). I can see things kinda sucking for higher limit players as the game selection definitely starts to dry up.With 30% rakeback and constant reload bonus offers from UltimateBet, I find it hard to justify playing on Pokerstars at the limits I play.Just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye Hughes 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Someone HAS TO send PMJ's response email and post the response on this thread. This is way too good to pass up.That's why he's the featured member, because he saves Gen Pop on an otherwise horrendous thread week. Link to post Share on other sites
PMJackson21 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 I guess I must be crazy for playing on Ultimate Bet almost exclusively for cash games and the odd tournament. I actually really like their tournament structure (if they increased the level timing to 15 minutes it would really be awesome). I am guessing that it appeals to me more because I am a low stakes player (up to $1/$2 cash games and max ~@25 buy-in tournaments). I can see things kinda sucking for higher limit players as the game selection definitely starts to dry up.With 30% rakeback and constant reload bonus offers from UltimateBet, I find it hard to justify playing on Pokerstars at the limits I play.Just my 2 cents.Their tournament structure is incredible, and it's even better for anything $100+.I'm not saying people shouldn't play at UB (although GLGL if you ever have any sort of issue that requires dealing with Support), I'm just poking fun at them for being left in the dust by Stars and FTP. Link to post Share on other sites
loxo 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 MUST SEND Link to post Share on other sites
terradawg 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 brilliant. please send. i would send it but they didn't send me the other e-mail to respond to...edit" what the hell, i sent it anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Vick12 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 LOL by all means U sure u don't want to....cuz u know I will!!!Also...how does one's backers pre-reg u for a mtt??? *PLEASE let PMJ be involved in some interweb dramabomb!!!!* Link to post Share on other sites
NoSup4U 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 PMJThat is all GOLD. I would be highly disapointed if you DIDN'T send that as a response!!!(If u don't want to....mind if I cut and paste????) Link to post Share on other sites
PMJackson21 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Heh I sent, but since it's UB I am dealing with, there is only about a 30% chance anyone will read it, and 10% chance after that I will get a response. However, 5% of those times, I will get a reply and it will be unintentional comedy.Soooo tempted to CC PH's personal email. Link to post Share on other sites
drcossack 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Heh I sent, but since it's UB I am dealing with, there is only about a 30% chance anyone will read it, and 10% chance after that I will get a response. However, 5% of those times, I will get a reply and it will be unintentional comedy.Soooo tempted to CC PH's personal email. doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt Link to post Share on other sites
Vick12 0 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Heh I sent Link to post Share on other sites
Suited_Up 2 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 This thread is on the verge of delivering.Package is "In Transit" I would say. Link to post Share on other sites
Potsie P 0 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 You srsly need to send that email.It's good.That one chick in your sig on the right is the hottest.BTW, I'm an advertising copywriter and I would like to kill the writer who wrote this piece of crap. Every ad writer knows if you can't keep a list of points to 3, then you gotta go all the way to 11... Link to post Share on other sites
AAsnake88 0 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 Count me in on sending it too.Got the email not once, but now twice in the past 3 hours. Link to post Share on other sites
looshle 6 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 omg send it pleeeeeeease Link to post Share on other sites
Suited_Up 2 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 omg send it pleeeeeeeaseKeep reading bud Link to post Share on other sites
king1305 0 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 [X] PMJ owning of UB[X] Extreme humor[ ] Balloon Guy's thoughts[ ] Clay Aiken's thoughts[X] Thread delivers, already. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Aiken 6 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 Clay Aiken, have you ever choreographed an entire routine for Michelle Kwan??A short program of course (who hasn't??), but the holy grail of constructing an entire long program for that glorious array of sunshine I have not yet had the privilege!! But do I give in and admit defeat?? The answer is a hearty "no", and as I bellow from the depths of my loins to indicate to the Cosmos that I am still waiting for that glorious opportunity, I can but wonder, for who, and for how long must I endure this wretched pain?? As the heartless forces of the Universe seek to undo me completely, and with their sabre-toothed hate draw blood from the deepest parts of my flesh, the crimson night sings a different tune. I look upward and inward and find strength in places where I forgot hope existed, and as the coriander sunrise blazes through my soul, I feel the love of a thousand children created in the forests of fortune, the seas of solitude, and the crevices of candied delight!! March on good soldier, march on. This I truly and honestly believe!! Wonderful!! Link to post Share on other sites
Suited_Up 2 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 A short program of course (who hasn't??), but the holy grail of constructing an entire long program for that glorious array of sunshine I have not yet had the privilege!! But do I give in and admit defeat?? The answer is a hearty "no", and as I bellow from the depths of my loins to indicate to the Cosmos that I am still waiting for that glorious opportunity, I can but wonder, for who, and for how long must I endure this wretched pain?? As the heartless forces of the Universe seek to undo me completely, and with their sabre-toothed hate draw blood from the deepest parts of my flesh, the crimson night sings a different tune. I look upward and inward and find strength in places where I forgot hope existed, and as the coriander sunrise blazes through my soul, I feel the love of a thousand children created in the forests of fortune, the seas of solitude, and the crevices of candied delight!! March on good soldier, march on. This I truly and honestly believe!! Wonderful!! as always! Link to post Share on other sites
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