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myenemy

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Posts posted by myenemy

    Things You Hate

    in General

    Posted

    Pretty much every single dramatic show on TV. Is it just me or do people watch an enormous amount of TV more than they ever did before? Every fukn show is "Oh, you gotta watch ______!!"

    The Future Is Here!

    in General

    Posted

    Scientific breakthroughYou’re in luck. For their senior project, two Cornell University computer-engineering whizzes recently built a machine that does just that. After learning in class how breathalyzers work, Robert Clain and Miguel Salas assembled a fart detector from a sensitive hydrogen sulfide monitor, a thermometer and a microphone and wrote the software that would rate the emission. A “slight perturbance in the air” near the detector sets it to work measuring the three pillars of fart quality: stench, temperature and sound. Temperature, Clain explains, is critical. The hotter a fart, the faster it spreads. “It beeps faster if it’s a high ranker, and a voice rates it on a scale of zero to nine,” he says. “If it ranks a nine, a fan comes on to blow it away. It even records the noise so you can play it back later.” After a few months of construction, they began field tests. “Well, the sample data wasn’t the entire school, but we definitely tested it,” Salas says.The contraption could even have use outside of fraternity houses, Clain says, as a biosensor for harmful hydrogen-sulfide-producing bacteria in hospitals. Or dentists could use it to measure oral malodor. They’ve also received some interest from doctors with four-legged patients. “You can test the health of livestock through the quality of their farts,” Salas says. “Smell and sound can tell you a lot about their bowel movements.”When it came time to present the invention in class, though, Clain and Salas had to test their detector by making raspberry sounds and breathing on it—human exhalations contain enough hydrogen sulfide to trigger the sensor. “It’s hard to fart something really smelly on command,” Clain laments. “Besides, it provided a nicer atmosphere for those around us.” Still, their professor saw fit to award the project a well-deserved A.
    Ive been LOLing for a solid 10 minutes about this line.

    Makes You Feel Insignificant

    in General

    Posted

    It doesn't make me feel insignificant.It's actually quite liberating. The universe will continue to spin without me, long after I'm gone. Stars will be born and will die and will never know that any one of us ever existed.We will be long forgotten, and those who forgot us will be long forgotten.I am not a small gear in the whole of the universe. I do not play a small part. I play no part. I have no role. But why is that depressing? Why must I stir the universe to appreciate it? Why must the stars and galaxies spin only at my will for me to love the world I'm in?Rather, it is because the universe doesn't depend on me, because all does not hinder on my actions, that I am able to take a step back and do the things that make me and those around me happy.I do not have the sword of Damocles swaying over my head. I hold it in my hands! And though it is dull and will not cut, it gives me comfort.
    Bravo Yorke, bravo. You want to join me at a rub 'n tug tonight?

    ***official Boston Red Sox Thread***

    in Sports- Baseball

    Posted

    Well I enjoy the fact that as a Boston fan you stick up for your guys pussy like fighting skills when most of the nation is basically mocking him for a. being a punk and throwing a helmet and b. not throwing a punch but instead, hugging Porcello. Yeah, we lost. Big deal, have you seen our division, it sucks. No big worries.I hope we hit him again today, they still owe them one more.
    Dont you know that a Red Sox player always does the right thing as far as Red Sox fans are concerned?Blindest fans in sports.

    To Answer Daniel's African-american Question

    in Politics, Economics and News

    Posted

    Jerry Maguire: Show me the money! Rod Tidwell: Yeah! Louder! Jerry Maguire: Show me the money! Rod Tidwell: Yes, but, brother, you got to yell that shit! Jerry Maguire: Show me the money! Rod Tidwell: I need to feel you, Jerry! Jerry Maguire: Show me the money! Rod Tidwell: Jerry, you got to yell! Jerry Maguire: [screaming] Show me the money! Show me the money! Rod Tidwell: Do you love this black man! Jerry Maguire: I love the black man! Show me the money! Rod Tidwell: I love black people. Jerry Maguire: I love black people! Rod Tidwell: Who's your ************, Jerry? Jerry Maguire: You're my ************! Rod Tidwell: Whatcha gonna do, Jerry? Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

    Messin With Cars

    in General

    Posted

    God, what a ****ing faggot you are.I actually really liked this thread. 99.9% of threads I post in, I forget about the instant I'm done posting, but I 'remembered' this one.It was the one where Speedz talked about his Camaro, Hollywood talked about his, I talked about dads GTO's- this was a good thread. Here you come along and bump it and I'm thinking "Awesome! It's that thread again! Hooray!"... but your bump-post is talking about how you're going to go steal an emblem for a ****ing Altima? GTFO of this thread. Either let it rest in peace, or contribute something that doesn't scream to the world "Look at me!
    Well as an update, I ended up just buying the emblem. I was just pissed off that first day.

    Messin With Cars

    in General

    Posted

    Someone stole the front emblem off my 2009 Altima, Im so freaking pissed off. I saw it this morning. Tonight Im going to walkaround my neighborhood with a screwdriver and take one back. Pay it forward!

    Weird Coincidences.

    in General

    Posted

    so i am getting ready to start my day and figure i would scroll thru the forums to find something either to make me laugh or at least half interesting this one just by the title of post had promise , or so i thought post of equal or greater content have been flamed and rejected , and yet this one is floating along like its okayit is not , op - you should be banned and your keyboard removed from your home.
    Its called history, theres a history. Some people can get away with somethings that others cant.

    Look At You.

    in General

    Posted

    No fan to make it look like there is wind in your hair.No bright segmented lights in your face to make your eyes all shiny and shit... showing the web-like netting all our eyes have, but is hard to see. No make up or airbrush or technicolor magic. No plucked eyebrows or surgery or hair dye or braces or caps or whitening agents or slimming, fashionable clothes. You're in a fucking AC/DC t-shirt. You are as natural as the day you were born.Sure, you bathe and brush and are fit and eat right and shave your pits and legs.But you are as natural as the day you were born. And in this light... at this moment, you are as fine a thing as no metaphor exists. Just look at you. God dammit this isn't a line or some juvenile utterance of adoration.I am unlike anything you've ever known and when I say "look at you" I mean it.LOOK AT YOU.This isn't just about you, god dammit.We are sharing this moment.This is you, looking as stunning as a thing can be, and this is me capable of recognizing. You'll never understand this -- GOD DAMMIT -- but you in this moment would have passed without notice, or been lusted after, or been struck dumb by, or had an ode written about or ONE TIME OUT OF EIGHTEEN MILLION would have been spoken about cleverly... for all that shit is worth. Lucky for you I was here to use my considerable talent to experience fully the might of your eyes and face.So fucking beautiful. Lucky for you I was here to weep for all mankind, you're so beautiful.
    If this is original..... its F*CKING genius! Genius.
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