beans-n-icewater

Yeah, its about time to fire up the off topic featured member stuff again...

Are you kidding... Like I could hide anymoreNah... I forgot the password about two years ago. Someone bought me a new pc and it was saved on the old oneRuss has only been a man for a few days, ya know... And for your information, I'm a Modela man this eveningHey... You guys realize that shake don't have a roof?Hahahahahahahahahaqaaaaaaaaaa!

So....what the hell?AaaaaHAHAhahahah!

Damn...it was another rerunOh well.... heres another paragraph or twoIt was about the time that we landed back at the Plaza that we realized that our chariot for the evening had some sort of overheating problem. I tend to forget small details such as those during times of severe intoxication, so when the valet returned the rod in a plume of Prestone smoke it became clear that some sort of emergency plan be enacted for the safe return home..."Dammit to hell, Beans.... whats wrong with this thing anyway?""Dunno...lets pop the hood"(ten minutes of swaying back and forth)"Looks like its low on wat

"THIS BASTARD AINT GONNA MAKE IT!"Ignoring Gary as usual, I kept easing the Mercury down I-fifteen at the blinding speed of six miles per hour. With the temperature gauge reading somewhere between two fifty and Chernobyl, I was more concerned with the eighty mile per hour traffic closing in directly behind us than a warped cylinder or two inside the supercharged Corvette LS-7 engine. Our destination was the downtown exit, but after five minutes of watching the Spring Mountain off ramp disappear in the passenger side window, I figured it was about time to recalculate our route..."Im gonna get o

The next morning around seven, Gary knocked on the bedroom door and asked if I wanted to go to Terribles for coffee with him. I dont drink coffee, but I tagged along anyway just in case he pulled some crazy stunt or something. One of his many vices is video poker, so I knew that we would be there for a while and since he always has at least one run in with a stranger that involves an argument, I didnt want to miss one single incident for my memoirs sakeWithin a few minutes of sitting down at the nine/six machine, the following happened...(female attendant walks over to Gary)"Sir, you cant smok

Im back home for all of you that worry about my whereabouts...Heres a re-cap of the festivitiesLast Sunday I boarded a plane around four thirty with a friend Ill call Gary, who has got to be the most nervous human being on the plant. His tendency to freak out at the least little thing has been constant entertainment for the Icewater family for many, many years. In fact, I really didnt want to go back to the desert until at least December or so, but I just couldnt turn down the opportunity for a few days of comedy gold. Yeah, drinking and gambling had a small input as wellI had never flown Alli

Geez...ok, another story since you mention meThis afternnon I was busy laying a ceramic countertop at Moms place when the hops and barley overwhealmend me once again...(Beans staggers into house and finds Mrs. Icewater reading at bar)"Hey...wanna go over to the injun joint in a while and hang out while I play cards?""No""Alright....Im gonna go around seven if ya wanna go""Nah"(around eight Beans take shower and staggers back down stairs)"Im leavin""Alright....dont pick up any trash or anything"(two hours later Beans is sitting with a friend and to twenty something singers of the nightly band)"

I probably didnt mention it in the story a while back, but this stuff was the main suspect in the near fatal case of hemorrhoids I somehow survived...My favorite is Pepperdouxs, but its a real pain in the ass to find for some reason. Since I refuse to get infoed by shipping charges that are the same amount as the product, I just steal them from the tables at the Triple Seven in Vegas Where in the world would you get that idea from?I eat brown rice.... dash or two of soy sauce.... heapin helpin of salsa on top..... and a dash or two of the above mentioned pepper sauceJalapenos as wellAs far a

I may have to look into this whole P-ninety thing...I have a Ruger forty five with those numbers....that count? The last Coors light and Pabst Blue Ribbon in my body was at a strip bar....thats all they offeredNo wonder the gals were so ugly in there...I just came back from the quacks office, myselfWhile reviewing my blood numbers, the following conversation took place..."Beans...this is just awesome!""Didnt think I could do it..huh?""Well, I knew you could if you applied yourself.... I was also concerned that with your family history and all that you might not be able to""Well, Im pretty plea

I knew it would be me that dropped the bomb on all the funny in here...The comment was in no way a jab at your weight. It was actually intended to make myself look foolish by mistaking you for speedy....Ill drink more next time... speaking of losing weightIn other news, a sales rep for a new company came in the office yesterday. I guess those guys get together somewhere and discuss their clients and brainstorm about how to crowbar more money from them or something because he surfaced with five cases of beer, one on ice in a coolerI didnt have the heart to tell the guy that whoever told him to

Really funny stuff, guys...The stroke stuff and jubis "quack" remark had me giggling like one of sals galsIn other news... Speedy, pm me or Rando for some exercise advice...Youre lookin a little over the weather

"Get the tires outta the yard and Ill think about it"-Letterman to Beans after a dinner invite Says the guy that gets more young ass than a Girl Scout camp toilet seat....I still think I should come back and re-wire that kitchen circuit.... shouldnt take more than a month or two at the mostIll bring the wine coolers

I wouldnt worry....keep in mind that they are basically M sixteens with a couple parts missing. Every pimple faced kid that joins the military can do it with a SBriand yelling at them in a few minutes. Depending on if the barrel is already torqued down or not, you may need to buy an armorers wrench for five or ten bucks. The rest of the gun goes together using pins and a flat head screwdriver...I have a semi AR lying around somewhere, so when you get ready, or before, Ill post a pictorial of the procedure. Maybe even a BeansCam© episode. Yeah, that would be better, anyway Does this mean I can

I have a lot of bookkeeping around here to catch up on....BeansCam© footage, story finales, etcSmooches right back attcha-Ron Mex Looks like Shane was in charge of mounting the toilet paper holders...Many moons ago he decided to sit a toilet sideways inside a friends duplex as a joke. About six months later I stopped by for a service call and noticed it was still like that. The hippie that rented the place had this to say when asked why he didnt complain about it..."I dunno, man....I kinda like it.... I just kinda prop my feet up on the tub and go to town....I can push out some monsters thatta

If a commie is someone that would rather watch tires dry rot than pay attention to those topics, then hold my place in the toilet paper line...Thankfully, Magnum saved the day once againAnyway, on the terrible topic of professional frauds....A couple seasons back I staggered down to the local church to cast my worthless vote on the current election at the time. Now I know what youre thinking.... nope. I really dont think that any one vote counts....I mean, IF my one vote were actually sway an election one way or another, there would be a run-off, correct? Anyway, its a ritual that started with

Im sure Ive used it in the past, but thats a great bar pickup line...In other news, I just dont get the whole politic discussion thing. I assume its sorta like sports in a wayIn both instances a guy/gal sits on a couch for extended time periods watching guys making millions, try to get involved by influencing others also watching to get on their side of the debate/competition. Ive witnessed fist fights break out over both, several right in the middle of my den and shop.What just kills me is, the guys they are fighting/arguing about couldnt care less about the livelihood of the bickerers....Ove

I hope the tests come back negatory, Randall......and a proper response to his message hit me right before something...hit meReady?

I did mention that he was a friend...

Only if youre driving... :JohnWayneimpressionface:"Then yera runnin with the wrong crowd...pilgrim" If I didnt know you, the exact same pics could have easily been followed by...Pretty exciting, I just started physical therapy! In other news, I just returned from the quacks office....(drumroll)I am still allowed to swerve around the friendly skiesThe highest reading of three was one twelve over sixty six...In celebration, I am now... BACK IN BLACK!

If you know a vet, thats the best way...A friend of mine started using what he called "rooster pills" that was a small pill with chicken feed as an outer shell. At first he took the time to carve off the feed with a pocket knife, but that was too time consuming so the feed was ingested as well. The same vet sold a ton of them to Okie **** fightersAfter a while he moved on to other animal roids.... Speedy can verify this but Im pretty sure it was Winstrol-V injectable. I remember that it contained a fine "sand" in the bottom to keep it mixed up or something. Since he used insulin needles, the b

...and dont forget an intoxicated black guy in a santa costume singing "Heyo! Heyo! Suppot yo local WINO!" while holding a Folgers coffee canI really wish Id taken a pic of him... I just hope the twenty bucks went straight to the "licka sto" like he promised it would

Its heartwarming to witness my very own protege blossom into a fully developed public enemy... today, fixing sinks.... tomorrow, mastering one hand mag changes and FTEs on a Kimber nineteen elevenIm in the mood to ramble, so get those index fingers ready.... SCROLL!Lets see.... Ill start with my getaway cabin. Many moons ago I was given one of those storage buildings seen in the parking lot of local lumber yards, so I transported down to the lake to use as a place for boating paraphernalia. About a year after I tired of boating, I gave all of the inner tubes and junk to Shane and made it my of

I performed a self intervention this afternoon...Somehow, after a couple mixes I fell down and hit my head repeatedly on a not so spongy concrete floor. No shit... I actually fell one time but my noggin kept hitting the floor over and over for like ten seconds. After I realized what was happening I had to glance behind me and make sure the wife didnt has ahold of my hair or somethingAt first I blamed the gym for throwing me like a mechanical bull or something, but after laying there and watching the television upside down for a while, it became apparent that the double vision was more from the

Pffft...After a bottle of Crown Black I can touch all parts of my body to the floor without bending anything...and do like I doMix it fifty-fifty with grapefruit juice so youll at least drink healthySpeaking of crown, did I ever tell the story about Shane saving all of his purple Crown bags so he could have his mother sew them all together for a baby blanket?Unfortunately for the company, he didnt think of the idea until his wife was in her eighth or ninth month of pregnancy.... most of us overlooked his drinking binge since it was technically for his kidIt didnt turn out well, though....Durin