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ChuckNorr!s

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Posts posted by ChuckNorr!s

    World Poker Tour Babe

    in General

    Posted

    "If you think I'm sexy, common baby let me know", so the words from Rod Stewart's song.Well there is this WPT Babe that I'm attracted to, no I'm not talking about Shana Hiatt or Mike Sexton, I'm talking about Ms.Linda Johnson.There are three things that I look at when I'm watching her.First is her dress, I like seeing Linda wearing low cut dresses that would reveal her cleavage, I get so excited when I see her giant melons.Second is when she remove her eyeglasses and insert the temple part into her mouth, wow, just wow.And lastly is when she again open her mouth and say's, "Shuffle up and deal", that's when I just cant control my self anymore, I just want to whip out my third leg, you know what I mean.Speaking of WPT, yall know that you'll hear a lot of WPT when you're near Chuck Norris, coz that's the sound of his kick, punch and falling bodies. Wak, Pak & TakBelow is her picture,http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_Johnson ------------------------------------------------------hey if I made smile then maybe you can ship me some change at my pokerstars account, nick="kobenator", thanks.

    More Important Than Poker

    in General Poker Forum

    Posted

    I had to take a half day off work today, I went to Sylmar this morning to look for my Aunt who were affected by the fires. My Grandpa texted me from the Philippines saying to look for my Aunt in Sylmar Highschool and to check for there condition. Coming from a broken family I'm not that close to my Father's side of the family but seeing the devastation on TV I was compelled to drive down there.Before I went there I cooked some porridge and put it on a big crock pot, it was hell getting to that area not only because of the traffic but some parts of the area you can't get into because the police considered the area a crime scene, apparently somebody set this fire intentionally. So when I got there, I brought the copy of the picture of my Aunt that I got from Friendster and start looking at the people. I saw my Aunt and she was so happy to see me, she gave me a hug and told me that her house is not burnt but they are not allowing them to go back at the moment.She introduced me to her husband and 3 young kids, she said that Red Cross has been feeding them cold cut sandwiches and they seem satisfied. I told them that I cooked some porridge for the kids, My aunt helped me carry the porridge and when I opened the lid the aroma spread to the whole gym and immediately there are other people who wanted to partake. So I hurried up and gave my Aunt's kids plastic bowl and gave them bowl of porridge, I looked on to my Aunt and she gave me the look that they're ok and its ok to give away the remaining porridge. I explained to the other people that I didn't bring much and that the food would be beneficial to the children and they complied, there must have been at least 12 kids that went running and I gave them food until its all empty, I also gave a bowl to an elderly woman who said that she's a having a hard time chewing food, one parent cried thanking me.I talked to my Aunt for almost an eternity, we exchanged call numbers and gave her the remaining supplies I bought for them. when I left the area, I saw a lot of people with worried look and most of them seem tired of crying, reminded me of my past when I could not afford anything, I still dont have much but I'm sure I'm better that some of these people who lost their houses on this fire. While I'm driving home there, I noticed that I could not stop crying.I know yall accustomed to seeing funny anectdotes from me but today I wont, let's just pray for these people and more strength for the Firefighters who's putting there life on the line to put this fires out.

    World Series Of Vagina

    in General

    Posted

    I agree, and I'm not even kidding. Tough crowd these days. This guy is funnier than 95 perfcent of gen pop. I got you back, chuck.
    thanks, maybe some of peeps here have a rough childhood that smiling is not an option anymore, maybe they played hide the salami with there greasy uncle when they were young.

    World Series Of Vagina

    in General

    Posted

    I was playing NL online last night with 2 female poker players, they were talking about life in general, then suddenly the other other lady shared that she is breast feeding while playing. I was cool with that but not this kid who said, "Yuck, that's disgusting, we didn't need to know that". these two female players became Angry Vaginas alternately berating the kid until the poor kid left, I just kept quite which is unusual, I normally like to take part on these kind of situations.Lots of good female poker players, Did you that Barbara Enright is the first female poker player who've reach the final table of the WSOP ME? Jennifer Tilly is not bad either, tiffany Michelle is the latest success story, she finished 17th on the last WSOP ME. KAthy Liebert is also an excellent poker player but many believes she's not a woman, apparently she's hanged like a horse.Vagina plays a big part in mainstream poker, you see Vaginas during the money presentation, Vaginas also interviews poker players, a certain Vagina named Phillida HEllmuth also said that she can dodge bullet, baby.Speaking of babies, Did yall know that not only did Chuck Norris punched his way out of his mother's womb, he also reached out for the scissor and cut his own umbilical cord?, now you know.

    Canadianpoker83 Scammed Me

    in General Poker Forum

    Posted

    Chuck feels bad for ship_it, soChuck will swim from US to Canada to track this guy downChuck already already gave a copy of this punk's picture to Canada's Most WantedChuck also talked to Celine Dion(Canadian) about this issue and will sing that damn Titanic song to sympathize with ship_it.Chuck also will get Pamela Anderson(Canadian) to give ship_it a lapdance wearing nothing but his fake bumpers.

    Straight Flush Baby!

    in General Poker Forum

    Posted

    PokerStars Game #21987407109: Hold'em No Limit ($0.10/$0.25) - 2008/11/12 19:03:11 ETTable 'Adolfine V' 6-max Seat #1 is the buttonSeat 1: LitliGud ($21.65 in chips) Seat 2: vanriff ($43 in chips) Seat 3: Samson1o1 ($19.95 in chips) Seat 4: djeter2NYY ($29.60 in chips) Seat 5: Ex_Matt ($31.55 in chips) Seat 6: AcesBurned ($38.75 in chips) vanriff: posts small blind $0.10Samson1o1: posts big blind $0.25*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Ex_Matt [As 7s]djeter2NYY: folds Ex_Matt: raises $0.75 to $1AcesBurned: folds LitliGud: folds vanriff: calls $0.90Samson1o1: folds *** FLOP *** [3s 6s 5s]Samson1o1 leaves the tablevanriff: checks Ex_Matt: bets $1.50vanriff: calls $1.50*** TURN *** [3s 6s 5s] [4s]vanriff: checks Ex_Matt: checks *** RIVER *** [3s 6s 5s 4s] [Th]vanriff: bets $2.25Ex_Matt: raises $5.75 to $8vanriff: folds Uncalled bet ($5.75) returned to Ex_MattEx_Matt collected $9.30 from pot*** SUMMARY ***Total pot $9.75 | Rake $0.45 Board [3s 6s 5s 4s Th]Seat 1: LitliGud (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 2: vanriff (small blind) folded on the RiverSeat 3: Samson1o1 (big blind) folded before FlopSeat 4: djeter2NYY folded before Flop (didn't bet)Seat 5: Ex_Matt collected ($9.30)Seat 6: AcesBurned folded before Flop (didn't bet)
    wow, sorry u didn't get much action

    Straight Flush Baby!

    in General Poker Forum

    Posted

    Last Sunday, I went to my future in-laws house to pay my respect and to asked for their daughter's hand, they reluctantly said ok, they would have preferred my gf's ex who is a Doctor.I helped out in preparing the food, met all my gf's family including Brusko, my gf's older brother who is gay. Let me tell you about Filipino gay guys, most prefer straight guys unlike here in the US where most gay guys settle with fellow gay guys.So I was carrying this big plate of food and here comes Brusko smiling at me and said, "Hmmm, yummmy and I'm not talking about the food" then looked down to my genetalia area. I was stunned but I'm thinking he's just kidding, so I said, "wtf, I'm going to be your brother in law, why are you messing with me?", and he answered, "well, yall not married yet, I have more money and....my mouth is wider" and he left me laughing hysterically.I was a bit offended but did not show it much like my attitude when I get bluffed on a pot but I'm steaming inside.. And he's right, I'm mainly marrying his sister for money and house, Brusko kind a ruined my day so I left early without my gf.While driving my thoughts are about my incoming marriage and of course poker, so I exited Carson blvd and head down to Hawaiian gardens Casino.I got seated on a $4/$8 LHE half kill pot game(it goes to $6/$12 when somebody wins twice in a row), after 30 minutes, I got involved on a kill pot, UTG, UTG+1 & MP all limped, so I limped too with my 3h4h, Button raised, SB 3 bet, I know this guy is very loose, that's why it was no surprised that everybody called him.Flop was, 2h,6h,Aslots of betting and it got capped, 2 guys folded and 4 people saw the turn.Turn, Jd,SB bet, MP folded, I called and button raised and we both called.River, 5h, filling up my straight flushso board is 2h,6h,As,Jd,5h,OMG, I cant believe this but I kept my composure, SB bet which he does all the time to get info, I raised him and Button 3 bets, SB disgustingly folded, We both re-raised one another until all my chips are in, he showed his AhKh and I happily showed my STRAIGHT FLUSH BABY. The pot is easily $500, I was so happy that I bought everybody a drink.On the way home, I was thinking how my family would look like, doing a lot of chores like bringing my kid to school, attending parent meetings etc. Speaking of school, according to Chuck Norris's high school Pricipal, Chuck is the only one who can leave before the bell rings, one time a Teacher tried to stop chuck from leaving early, so Chuck gave him detention and made him write this lines , "I must not stop Chuck from leaving whenever he wants", the poor teacher did this for 5 straight hrs.

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