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DOG

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Posts posted by DOG

    I Called In Sick Today

    in General

    Posted

    Yeah dude, that's great and all, but I turned no money into $450 by playing poker. THAT'S a fucking accomplishment
    Gunnin' for that May Featured Member spot eh?
    so everybody got drunk last night? that's good. so did I. now I'm hungover as balls. hate you all.
    Right back at ya' hillbilly
    No hangover. Just a little dehydration. So what's up Sickies? I haven't checked in here in, like, a week I think. Everyone still faggots?
    Pope still is CatholicDawson still is gheySal still is a loserYep, nothing has changed

    I Called In Sick Today

    in General

    Posted

    I can't tell whether you're joking, so here is proof with a sample of the song you can listen to. The full version with music video is on youtube.UGH that dog reminds me of my arch enemy dog. What?MW: fact: 5: a piece of information presented as having objective reality???
    Didnt know we weren't friends

    I Called In Sick Today

    in General

    Posted

    That reminded me...so I've been talking to the stuffpuppet I was hitting on on Saturday, and as always I've made it fairly clear I'm not interested in dating anyone exclusively (unless she meets 3 requirements: hot, super rich parents, and is fun. I leave that out when saying why I don't want to date anyone). Except...this girl's getting a dog this weekend, and I love dogs and really miss my parents' dogs...this girl's cool and hot, so I'm torn...WILL THE DOG SERVE AS A WILDCARD THIRD REQUIREMENT??? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.Just doin what I do dog
    werdoh and Dawson...she has teh AIDS.

    F***in' Canadians

    in General

    Posted

    A few days before my buddy, who is a bartender, got married, I met a guy who turned out to be a semi-functional retard, and coincidentally, an American border guard, while drinking for free on my buddy's tab at his bar, preparing to be his best man. This wacko ended up spouting on about the fact that everyone except Americans speak english wrong, and that accents shouldn't be allowed, which didn't bother him because, as anyone knows, he explained, Americans don't speak with an accent. I don't think he had ever strayed too far south, because when I asked him about southern American accents, he became very confused, claimed that they didn't exist, and started saying that calling England England was just plain wrong, because they didn't speak english correctly there. He did, however, confess that he thought he spoke "The Queen's English", although he didn't see anything ironic about that, or with the fact that to him, the Queen wanders around saying "ain't" and "fellas" on a regular basis. Anyways, I listened to him spout off this nonsense and more for most of a beer, before getting frustrated and telling him, quite pointedly and in detail, that he was a moron. The fact that he was wearing his border guard uniform several hours drive from the actual border was delicious icing for the cake. He seemed quite confused that someone would dare speak back to him, but I wasn't all that concerned about his shiny badge or any authority he thought he had, sitting in that bar. Until my buddy came out from the kitchen, saw us arguing, and came over to try and smooth things over, because, he explained, this special flower of a man was about to become his father-in-law.The ceremony was uncomfortable.Border guards are not intelligent people.
    footwinner.jpg

    I Called In Sick Today

    in General

    Posted

    Please, you're a reknowned comedian that has appeared on Leno. I was generous with Wang's personality score because I value humour highly, so it made up for some of his perverse contradiction of self-esteem issues vs ego giganticism.
    So Strat has a giant cawk?

    I Called In Sick Today

    in General

    Posted

    Yeah, because god forbid anyone use the word 'god' without it being in reference to him.Oh wait... god really did forbid that. He used his mystical powers to foil my sarcasm....
    Piss off you nasty twat

    I Called In Sick Today

    in General

    Posted

    No one's laughing at Strat for going to the ER for heartburn? What happened to you guys?On the 4th of July six or seven years ago, I did three hits of ecstasy, multiple rails of cocaine, drank an unknown yet certainly large amount of alcohol, and smoked many, many bowls of weed (to even everything out, of course). I didn't end going to the hospital, but my car did get towed. The next morning I walked to my audition for Clockstoppers and gave one of the best reads of my life.
    Not his time yet.Think sometime in June after the Blues beat the Rangers in game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals.He chokes on a hot dog, no catsup of course.LG then falls in love with IQ Crash and they move to Sweden where she has a sex change.Or somehting like that.
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