L. Ron Hubbard

Tom, lets be better representatives of our faith, shall we?

You all need to learn to be yourselves. I can help you with that.

All of your Earthian maths are a hoax. If you could remove those Thetans that are clouding your vision, you would agree.I would like to personally invite all of you to drop by one of my many nationwide centers to learn more about the wonders of Scientology and also to take a fun and enlightening personality test.

Danny Masterson has a huge advantage over the rest of the field simply because he has read...

Matt Damon.

Steve, my original offer still stands. Just in case you don't see this right away, I've also sent you a telepathic pm.

Matt Damon.

Welcome!The first tip I can give you is to read my book, Dianetics.Secondly, you should drop by one of my many nationwide centers to take a fun and enlightening personality test.I know that you have limitless potential.

Matt Damon.

PM sent.Steve, in turn I would like to offer you an opportunity to study under me. I believe that with my tutalege, we can discover limitless bounds to your potential.

And I'm going to help you remove them.

Gary Busey. Totally sane.

If you guys are looking to read a good book...

Have you tried a thetan scan yet?

Drugs and addiction are horrible problems that can seriously affect your life journey. Luckily, I can help. It's true! I can get someone off of heroin in just three days!