Shimmering Wang
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Posts posted by Shimmering Wang
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Yeah, I know. I'm nearly impossible to deal with on a day-to-day basis, I imagine. I seriously can't fathom having to figure out where I'm coming from. I just had a conversation with Vickie in the computer lab like 2 minutes ago:Wang: "Hey, Vickster! What's the good word?"Vickie: (arms crossed, obviously uncomfortable) "Hey, Derek..."Wang: "So, how's things?"Vickie: "Uh... Good. Listen, Derek, I just wanted to sa-"Wang: "This conversation won't be fun for either of us -- more fun for me than you, probably -- so why don't we just skip it? I've got a present for you."Vickie: (confused) "Okay..."Wang: "Close your eyes..." (rummages through backpack)Vickie: (closes eyes, seems excited in spite of herself)Wang: "Okay, open!"Vickie: "Is this...?"Wang: "SURPRISE!!!"Vickie: "My present is... my own scarf?"Wang: "Yeah, I hope you like it. I gotta run, babe, but I hope you get some use out of it. I mean, it might make you think of me, which could be painful, bu-"Vickie: "It's... it's my scarf. You just had it at your place and brought it here to give back to me."Wang: "Yeah, but I washed it."Vickie: (examines scarf) "You... shrunk my scarf?"Wang: "Huh... I guess I did. Probably for the best. It'd just make you uncomfortable anyway. Memories, you know?"Vickie: "..."Wang: "Anyway, see ya!"you're one weird motherfucker.
I wrote a limerick, actually. I'm absolutely and totally not kidding. In it I rhyme "smoking" with "dopamine."How do those apples taste? Do you enjoy them?if getting dumped haikus are weird, then yes. -
FOUND IT! The perspective from which to approach the end of this era. I am about to enter a creative period, the likes of which I haven't seen in a time. You know what did it? Fucking Jess...I talked to her last night, and she made me feel a lot better. Jess. She was insightful and sweet. So.... weird. Jess? really?So, to prepare for the torrent of creativity that's about to flow from these fingers, I did some research:T H E O N L Y T H O U G H T SI R E M E M B E RC R O S S I N G M Y M I N D T O D A Y . BY DAN KENNEDY - - - --I can't keep doing this. -I wonder what Jimmy Pitman grew up to be. -If that woman and I fell in love, I would never let this weird little nervous side of me show. -You can tell which ones are afraid of you. They smile too much every time they ask you for something. -**** it... I'll go alone. -And if I never let the weird little nervous side of me show, eventually it would go away. T H E O N L Y T H O U G H T SI R E M E M B E RC R O S S I N G M Y M I N D T O D A Y ,P A R T 2 . BY DAN KENNEDY - - - --He's NOT a child. Don't be so animated... he's ten years older than you. -It looks like he's talking to the bottom of that fax machine. -****. Everybody knows. -If she is, in fact, missing and it turns out something is wrong, then what? -Joke about not having to worry about breaking up would never work no matter how long you waited. -Get a compass. Maybe it's bullshit... sleep better? -In Seattle I think it was east-west. ALWAYS tired there. -Joe used to come back from tour and then work in the warehouse all day. -Hungry. Eat knowledge. Thin and smart. -Bank? -I want them all and when I get one I have to stop!! I'm doing stuff like that, starting right now. Y'all motherfuckers will never read it, because I decided to send everything I write to a friend of mine to keep (because if I have it, I just delete it immediately), but, sleep well, Sickies. It took me all of 3 weeks, but: "I'm back, bitches."
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Ask Silky Johnson. He's really good with apostrophes.
I... just had to make sure this never disappeared.Congrats Speedz!Are you going to have to start dressing in khaki's and sweaters? Can you still associate with us now that you are an Ivy leaguer? -
Ask Silky Johnson. He's really good with apostrophes.Yeah, Fuck speedz moment, we want to hear about meat chasing.EDIT: Is it just speedz or is it speedz's? -
Congratulations, Speedz, you fucking Ivy League faggot. I got into Princeton, motherfucker, and I turned those bastards down. Yeah. I will need a stake in about 5-7 years.
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The only Gern Blanston I know is this guy.
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I am sitting in the computer lab listening to "Single Ladies" on repeat. I think I'm going to have to call my shrink and set up an appointment for tomorrow, just in case.
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http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4630290/An...n_%5B320kbps%5DThe site I 'borrow' music from only has fake torrents of the new Animal Collective album some of you are digging. I'm certainly interested but I'm not sure I'd want to actually make the purchase. I have an aversion to giving Itunes money, like ever, so I'd have to physically buy the disc. This isn't something I like to do unless I fall in love with the music first. -
I... just took a picture of myself in the Elf hat/codpiece combo, and I... it's going to take me at least a month to get up the gumption to post this thing. I know it's in the rules, but... can I really look myself in the mirror if I post a picture of myself wearing 2 oz. of clothing below the waist in a public forum? I did it once before (Wang in a zebra hat and jeans), but I don't know if that Wang is still alive. At least I have the "wearing a funny hat" thing going for me. I'm just incredibly worried that if I post this picture, I'm going to be automatically locked into "December 2009" when the JoeyJoJo calendar comes out. I don't want to get typecast...Speaking of JoeyJoJo, wherever he is, I had this conversation with my best friend yesterday:Friend: "Hey, have you ever seen that Simpsons episode wi-"Wang: "I've seen every episode from the first 7 or 8 seasons 10 times apiece."Friend: "Yeah, I phrased the question poorly. It was a transition so I could talk about the thing I wanted to talk about, you fucking dick."Wang: "Okay, go ahead."Friend: "Have you ever seen that Simpsons episode with Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo?"Wang: (pauses at least 2 minutes)Friend: "Hello?"Wang: "I think... I think about Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo every single day of my life. I am not even exaggerating. I know I use hyperbole a lot, Friendo, but seriously: EVERY. SINGLE. DAY."Friend: "No it's awesome."Wang: "It very well may be a top 50 all time thing."Friend: "Maybe. I was thinking I should use it as a handle or a screenname or something, but I don't know if you could pull it off..."Wang: (pauses at least 3 minutes, unsure how to proceed)Friend: "Yeah, it's probably imposs-"Wang: "Don't say that. It could be done."Friend: "It's too long."Wang: "What about just Joey Jo Jo? Everyone would get it."Friend: "No, nobody would get it."Wang: "Everybody. Would. Get. It. Trust me, Friendo. I am certain. Ask me no more questions, but I am totally certain it would work."Friend: "Have you ever used Jo-"Wang: "No, I only wish."Friend: "???"Wang: "This conversation is about to get really weird, and I'm not up for that right now."Friend: "Wanna go watch it?"Wang: "I am very TEMPTED." Friend: "You're an idiot."
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It opened at 3.0, moved all the way up to 6.0 (!), and then back down to 4.0. The moves were incredibly dramatic. They moved it off three and onto six...I took Ok +4 prematurely a few days ago... still learning.. I should have waited on this big game and got action with it was jumping.. I figured the jump from 4 to 5.5 was essentially a jump to 4.5, as almost no games are won by five, so I dont think the line moves were as dramatic as they looked. -
My position tonight (not my bookmaking position, but my position as a player) is Oklahoma +6. The line was jumping all over the place, and I've started to think a little about the way the lines move, and what the books are trying to do. I used to, as a rule, pass if the books moved the line with the money, considering it a bad sign. Now I'm not so sure.In a perfect world, if, say, the Spurs opened as 10 point favorites over the Knicks, the Knicks got all the action, and the line closed at Spurs -11, I'd be on Spurs -10. The only problem is: we don't know that there's going to be reverse line movement until it happens. If there's any value in these lines, it might evaporate if I get down on the Spurs AFTER the line moves. It's confusing, and I'm still not sure how I feel, but I'm not as incredibly wary of spots like the one tonight. I feel like the books set a price, then decided Florida was going to get hit no matter what, so they tried to get as much value as they could. I took Oklahoma when they were +6 (guessed right, since that was about the peak). The line closed at FLA-4, so now I have no idea if I have any value or not. I think I'm more likely to have value with Okie +6 -- I could have sold off my position for a profit if I wanted to, after all -- than any Florida position, so I took it. Whatever. I'll have more to say at some point in the future.
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I think someone has gone nuts over on wagerline. The line just got moved to +14.5 over there.
Pinny opened some alternate lines (Florida -7.5 +165, Oklahoma -3 +192, blah blah blah, etc.), and around that time somebody at the Wagerline switch had a little conniption, freaked out, and started putting those lines up as the legit (-105/-105) prices. I think.I see this thread is still alive. Any of y'all faggots making money? Want to write me a check or give me a place to crash or anything?The line is going insane. Oklahoma was favoured a second ago. -
Yeah, thanks. Nothing is ever as bad or as good as it seems. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react. Etc.well shimmering wang I wish you the best. no idea what kind of tragedies you've got there and I doubt you'll post it (I don't think I've ever posted when real life bad stuff has happened to me), but good luck. I'll give you a little advice that I tell myself quite often when shit happens: shit happens.realize that and things go pretty smoothly.
She's a good girl and I won't have you talk abo-I could only make it that far. Actually, Maggie is (actually: was) by far the least of my problems. I am healthy, though. I don't have cancer and I don't have AIDS, so: everything's coming Wangman.Time to go sweat my action and figure out who I need and by how much.I, for one, am shocked. If you can't expect a stable relationship from a back-tatoo'd single mothers who hook up with C-list actors... -
What up, nigggassss?I come to you all broken hearted and nearly insane. Seriously. I endured so much mental anguish over the last few weeks that... I dunno, my brain shut down for like 3 days at one point. I seriously didn't feel a single thing for 3 whole days. C'est la vie though.Cindy: I was your Secret Santa. Your initial gift didn't work out like I planned, so I am sending you the following, ASAP:Letters and collected notes from the last two weeks. Some were written directly to you, and others were written to myself, or to others. I have pretty much nothing left to give, so that's what you're getting. Pretty shitty gift, but on the off chance I become famous some day, they'll be one-of-a-kind collector's items, worth their weight in paper/ink. To all of you: good night and have fun watching the game tonight. Derek
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Longest two weeks ever. The holidays are usually shitty for me, but this year has blown away all other contenders. My girl was out of town (and totally incommunicado), and I just kept getting bitchslapped by tragedy. When my girl came back, I was so emotionally drained that I think I pissed her off, and now I've got that going for me.I won't be around much, but I just wanted to say:Merriweather Post Pavilion is a masterpiece. I am an only-slightly-abashed Animal Collective fan, but I'll be putting the songs "My Girls" and "Brothersport" and "Summertime Clothes" on every single iPod I see. I would love to have a 3-way with Panda Bear and Geologist. Actually, I'd want my girlfriend to get double-teamed by them, but I'd want to watch and I'd brag to my friends about it."I don't meanTo seem likeI care aboutMaterial thingsLike my social statusI just needFour wallsAnd adobe slabsFor My Girls"So, has anyone listened to the newly leaked Animal Collective or Antony albums yet? -
I just entered a $500 NFL and NCAA picks contest. 25 runners.2500 to the best NCAA record2500 to the best NFL record5000 to the best overall record2500 to be divied up among weekly winners.10K or bust, motherfuckers. All the guys in the contest are straight turds. The invite I received was a result of a discussion in which I disclosed my leans for NFL preseason games, and afterwards remarked, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a lot of bets on the Falcons and Dolphins this year." The guy offered me the last position in the pool on the spot. Every single one of these guys is going to pick the Patriots, Giants and Cowboys every game. It's very possible that every single submission I submit in a given week will be unique among all participants. I am either going to win by a mile or get creamed, but I'll take my chances trying to outpick Dale the broker and Craig the trust fund faggot. Wish me luck.
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Amount of time invested in fantasy football so far:0 hoursDrafts tomorrow: 3Hours I anticipate spending on fantasy football between now and bedtime:0 hoursI'm excited. I hope I have the first or last pick so I can look at porn between picks.
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And the deep dicking continues. I am so fucked for football season.
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Frustrating day on the bases.One NFLx play to chase:Jim Sorgi -5.5 -109 (1x)
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Today's card actually didn't induce any physical pain, but that's abnormal. Luckily Seattle and Oakland are playing each other, so I've had a break from AL West losers for a few days at least. Tomorrow will almost surely be disgusting, though. I hate backing the Twins, since I have a White Sox future and the Twins are overvalued in general, but against the Angels I don't really have a choice but to play them. I would have had to sweep all my baseball bets to even put a dent in the amount I'm going to lose from my weekly golf spew, so I'm in the black today no matter what happens.Oooooh... that is a pretty card. I love the royals, pirates, twins and jays. I'm going to have to put some money on Matchbook soon to test out my knowledge from the School of Wang. -
I actually was super late to get him paid, and he got a little upset about it, so he was telling the truth on that front. Shouldn't be any worries, since I've got one of my lackey's (Bizzle) lackey's on it. If I'd known 3 days ago I just would've had it transferred to you.LOL, thanks. Yeah I cut him a little slack cause he said he withdrew money from Stars to go on vacation with, and that he would re-deposit and transfer when he got home. Then he got home and said he couldn't deposit because he doesn't have a job lol. So he said he was waiting for you to pay him, so he could pay me. But it's been almost a month now and still nothing. He hasn't returned my last 2 PM's, so I doubt I'll ever see it, he seemed kinda shady to begin with. Oh well, live and learn. -
I'm well aware. They are the best team in that conference though in terms of total talent. Put Pitt and Balty on a neutral field two months from now, I think Balty would be a favorite (or at least a pick'em).Kyle Boller. -
Yeah, he should have his money. If you don't get paid, just send me a PM and I'll take care of it somehow. I felt a little guilty about forgetting to pay him, but not now. He got all high and mighty with me, and he's refusing to pay you just because some other dirtbag hasn't paid him yet? I don't think it works like that, does it? "Sorry, man. I wish I could pay you for fixing my Air Conditioner, but my brother hasn't hit me back for that bar tab I covered on Friday, soo....."There you are...hey have you paid Pokerkid555 from those bets yet? He won't pay me because he says you haven't paid him. Please pay him. -
I think ESPN uses www.coolstandings.com for their reports. CoolStandings has the Jays at 3% to make the playoffs. Even so, they'd be a weaker playoff team playing two roadies and a home series in the Playoffs, making them dogs in at least 2 of the 3 matchups. It's not like their true value is really 7-1 if they make the playoffs, anyway. As for Boston, coming into tonight, BPro had them at 2 wins below their Pythagorean W/L records, and about 6 games below their EqR Pythag (basically, instead of counting runs, we count how many runs they SHOULD have scored, ignoring timely hitting, etc.). Six runs is a pretty substantial difference, but this is just quibbling. Your bet doesn't have much value because the Jays are such long shots that you aren't getting a good price even at +25000. Given that the most optimistic numbers we've seen have you at break-even, and the other set has you as a big loser, I think it's only safe to conclude you're more likely to be a loser here than a winner.
Sports Gambling 201
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