[I Called In Sick Today]

Welcome? **** you welcome. I been here.

 

Where ron mexico at? Or speedz? Or beans&icewater. They were the talents of this thread.

[I Called In Sick Today]

Are any of you ugly mother****ers here? This is Caleb.

[Betting To Define Ranges]

When we the hero in the hand (AGGRESSOR), make a a large size flop bet (75% OR MORE) to DEFINE our opponents range, are we allowing our opponents to play perfect poker against us by letting them fold their marginal hands and draws? So many accomplished players have different views on this that Im become very confused! Your thoughts are much appreciated.

 

Not if you bet your bluffs the same. then they still can't define. But pressure is a constant. In any game pressure is an invaluable intangible. Pressure is the key to poker. I good sized bet in a good sized pot means they can't respond without the thought in their head that they may have to play for their stack.

 

Cause they know it's liable to come again. They have to face it twice or maybe three times. Or maybe all at once. INTIMIDATE. smarter players than I advise a more conservative, small ball approach. But I say play with big balls. Cut nuts. It creates fear, and fear is an invaluable asset.

[How To Bluff For Real ? Don't Let Me Down ...]

Hi everyone,

 

Today, I really need your help coz I'm fed up. The problem is I love poker, I enjoy so much when I play. I do have some skills which allowed me to win some great games online. And since last September, I go to proper casino to poker table. I seat and I play. I had lot of expectations at the beginning but they quickly felt down. Why ? I can't bluff, I don't why but players can always guess my moves. I do not use this strategy a lot coz I know I can't manage it but still, sometimes I really need to bluff and I loose myself doing it.

 

Do you have any advice you could give me to try to relax and actually succeed ?

 

Thanks for your help !

 

 

A relaxed attitude comes only through repetitions. Repetitions come with getting your ass beat down until you become hard. You are soft right now. A dull blade. Pain and suffering will hone that samurai sword.

 

Pay attention. All the time. To everything. With time, the mystical foresight your opponents exert over you will become routine and obvious. When you live on the alert, the game becomes clear. Unmuddled by bullshit.

 

Intentional repetition will yield qualitatively different results. Patience. The results will sneak up on you.

 

Or maybe you're just too dumb to play the game. too early to tell.

 

p.s. one tip. never complain out loud.

[I Called In Sick Today]

Ok. Listen up homos. I wrote a poem to my sister on text message. This the way it goes:

 

 

I'm a big Garth Grooks fan.

And the Wu Tang Clan.

And Woody Harrelson -- Ted Danson.

And Lady Gaga and Bette Midler,

And most of all -- the very most of all --

I love Joan Rivers.

 

That filthy old cunt.

 

 

---

 

 

SO? HUH? GOOD RIGHT? IT TOOK DECADES OF DRUNK WRITING TO PUT TOGETHER THAT PIECE.

 

DON'T LET ME GO UNappreciated in my own time. That would be a sin.

[I Called In Sick Today]

you know, if taking shits at work has taught me anything, it's that most men wear really ugly shoes.

You know, the stalls in korea come all the way to the floor. They go higher up as well. It's like your own private little room. And the cleaning ladies don't kick you out when they clean. they'll run a mop between your legs while you piss at the urinal. Also, kimchi makes for some really solid and oddly textured poops.

[I Called In Sick Today]

A few, maybe 2 or 3 that she would know. But it's not like its a centralized party or anything, it's the bars all packed full, parties at every house/lawn, some concerts on campus etc. And my little sister is coming up since she turns 21 that weekend so I'll be spending some time with her friends and stuff. Idk.

I'd just send her a text then. Don't ask her out or anything. Just say you're going and that it would be cool to see her there. Maybe try to add a little joke in there. Keep it relaxed.

[I Called In Sick Today]

Not really your decision to make, man. Sorry. No reason to get worked up about it. I bet you're taking it harder than your kid is.

[I Called In Sick Today]

You're overestimating how many friends I have. Plus most of us are all out of school and moved. She's just still in grad school. Which is kinda why I was thinking of manufacturing a run in with our mutual friend. Idk. I hate myself. Plus there's almost no way she has my number so I'd have to do the "hey this is napa...wanna bang?" text. Or something. I should just give up.

Hmm. But your friends are going to this college thing? Or are you going by yourself?

[I Called In Sick Today]

Yeah, the worst thing that could happen is she say yes and then I have to actually go on a date and find stuff to talk about in order to get to the part of the relationship where we just co-exist and I pay for stuff.

This is what makes asking her out such a terrible plan.

[I Called In Sick Today]

I think calling and asking her out is a lot of pressure for both of you. I'd set up a night out drinking with a group of friends (this has to include at least a couple of girls, preferably good looking ones) and then send her a casual text asking if she'd like to tag along. And tell the truth about why it's been so long since you've contacted her minus the part about you being a pussy. Just apologize and say you had a lot going on when you got her number. It makes you look like a dude who isn't desperate. Anyway, if she texts back and shows up, great. If not, you still get to get drunk with your friends.

[I Called In Sick Today]

Since we're just doling out advice lately...need some thoughts on a plan to get back into contact with girl who's number I got like 6 months ago and then never called or anything. I feel like its to late to just straight up call her and ask her out at this point.So, I'm thinking, in two weeks my alma mater (where she is currently enrolled) had its annual campus celebration that used to be one of the largest student run events in the country, but has since been scaled back due to budget cuts and rioting. I'm probably going to go back for a day since I know some friends that will be coming back for it. Now the likelihood of just randomly running into her again is super low since everywhere will be packed. However, we have a mutual friend (girl) whom I think I could get to text her to meet up at some bar and just happen to "casually" come across them and reopen communications. I, mean, it's all still kind of a longshot, but worth a shot? Too creepy? End game (other than banging) is I'd really like to be able to take her as a date to a mutual friends wedding in June so I don't have to roll solo (and you know, to bang) and I don't see myself being able to find a date otherwise between them and now.

How well do you think she remembers you?

[I Called In Sick Today]

what do you do these days?

I joined the military. 19 months left.

[I Called In Sick Today]

exponentially worse. and I sucked then. maybe I should move to new york city. what do you guys think? think I'd die within a month?turd: dude probably already knows he stinks and either doesn't care or can't help it. either way, your comments will not help him (or you).

I think moving to nyc would be awesome. I've always wanted to do it. I'm thinking of doing it when I get back from Korea actually. Not that I've ever been to new york or know anything about it, but it looks nice on tv and the ladies seem real classy. Plus, I bet there's always something cool going on. You couldn't get bored in nyc.I'm pretty sure I could get him to stop being stinky if I went about it the way I normally would. In fact, last year through a combination of heart to heart talks and brutal berating I got a guy to stop stinking on his body and in his mouth. It went kind of like this:Him: I started a new diet last week.Me: What did you do, cut out toothpaste?Then later when we are alone:Me (sensitively): Hey man, seriously though, you gotta brush your teeth. Him: Ok.And then he did. His breath never stinks anymore at all. Success!

[I Called In Sick Today]

Report it to HR. They love dealing with that stuff.Edit: I probably shouldn't assume you're working somewhere that has an HR department.Unrelated edit: Photoshop: You're doing it wrong.

Go to HR and tell them to do something for once? I'm starting to think I'm allergic to something at work. I'm constantly sneezing and having to blow my nose but am fine at home and on the weekends. Hopefully I am and it's nothing they could change so theyd have to let me work from home. That'd be the life. I'd probably never quit.Edit: yeah, what DJ said. Or your boss maybe?

Yeah, there's an HR department, but that seems like just about the worst way to deal with it. Same with going to your boss. You people don't really act that way do you?

[I Called In Sick Today]

I could use a little advice. There's this guy at work who stinks. It's not a little stink either. Like if he's sitting near by and I turn towards him it snaps my neck back a little bit. Now, normally I'd just tell him he's smelly and he needs to take a shower before work, but I know for a fact that already three of the eight people I work with don't like me because I'm not nice and I'd like to have at least a couple of friends around. Plus, I was thinking maybe I ought to work on the maturity thing a little bit. So, how would an adult handle this one?

[Outlet]

Stupid

[I Called In Sick Today]

2007? I'll say I'm doing way better. Personally, for sure. Professionally, it's always sucked. It was pre DUI, so those were good days. Still wouldn't go back and change it. Probably would killed someone.

Are you fatter? I bet you're fatter.

[I Called In Sick Today]

I'm probably about the same to worse than when Turd was last a frequent poster. Almost definitely worse off.Edit: Wow, this is kind of depressing me thinking about this. I haven't really made any significant positive changes in my life. Plenty of negative ones though. Well...this sucks.

I was thinking about this the other day. Not really in the context of how I've changed since I stopped posting here, but more about how I've developed as an adult over the last five years or so. Basically I realized that I haven't made any progression in emotional maturity. I've acquired virtually no skills in order to further a career I could do without killing myself inside of the next decade. I haven't had a single meaningful relationship that lasted more than a few months. I have virtually no control over my finances and absolutely no savings plan. I handle all my problems with my peers the way a five year old might. For example, a little while back some guy shushed me when I was being loud while he was trying to study for a test. It was in a public place (actually it was like a study hall area and everyone but me was studying), I was being pretty obnoxious, and he was really polite about it. Anyway, I left and then made fun of him behind his back for being a big enough pussy to actually study for a test. Then, the next day when I was talking to a group of people and he walked up and joined in the conversation I said, "I don't like you. Go away." Think about that. "I don't like you. Go away." What kind of an adult talks like that? An infant has more tact. If anything I've devolved in almost every aspect. I have had anal sex a number of times though. I had never had anal sex five years ago.

[I Called In Sick Today]

yeah, I guess I didn't really need the clarification after all. the posts in here over the last page or two really make me out to be a big ol' dumbass. it makes me sad, because I have changed quite a lot since turd was a regular poster, and I like people to think highly of me.gotta go to work. we'll be in "TOUCH."

Well if it helps, I don't know who you are. When I was about twelve or thirteen I remember watching a David Blane special on tv. Me and my brothers were watching it in the living room, and we were completely blown away. We couldn't figure out how he did any of those tricks. Anyway, after a while my dad walked in and we were all excited to show it to him so he watched it for a little bit. Well, he did this trick where a guy picked a card out of the deck and then put it back in without showing it to him and then David Blane threw the cards against this big store window and the dude's card was stuck to the other side of the glass, and during the commercial break me and my brothers were all discussing how it was done and my dad said, "Boys, let me tell you something about the spirit world. There are spirits all around us that we can't see. Some are good and some are evil. Satan uses the evil ones, and some people can interact with these spirits and do things that normal people can't do. Now, I know it looks like magic and it's cool, but you need to realize that he's messing around with some very evil beings." After the commercial break David Blane picked up a pigeon in the park and then broke its neck and then brought it back to life and made it fly away. My dad just nodded to himself and said, "Yep, spirits" and walked out of the room. That man has a PhD. Every single week on sunday hundreds of people come to hear him speak. He teaches them how to live their lives.

[I Called In Sick Today]

I gotta ask who this is.

Caleb

[I Called In Sick Today]

The other day I was sitting in my room just bored, watching tv or something and playing with my nutsack, and I found that I could kind of push one of my testicles up into the area above and to the side of my penis. There's like a bulge there when I do it, but it's not that noticeable and unless you were to look really close you couldn't even tell. So after a little bit of working at it I was able to get both simultaneously up there and hold them with one hand so it looked like I had no testicles at all. Then I just kind of examined myself in the mirror for a while and flapped the skin back and forth with my fingers and tugged on it and shit. Anyway, just something for you guys to try out if you have some spare time. It's tons of fun.

[I Called In Sick Today]

speaking of coaching... I asked LG on this one already, now I want the speedz takeI am still talking to this girl from ex-work. how do I go about finding out if I should bother to keep in touch? "could you ever see yourself dating a guy like me?" what's the best way to ask that question, or should I ask it at all? remember, two year relationship resembling marriage.

You want to sleep with this girl right? Just decrease the amount of pussyness in your emails and increase the amount of sexiness. Flirt with her instead of tucking your wiener in between your legs while you type the emails. She'll either feel uncomfortable and cut off communication saving you the trouble, or she'll respond positively and you'll get to do some sex to her. Oh yeah, but do it in a cool way. Not like how you normally do things. Also, don't bring up her boyfriend at all. Pretend he doesn't even exist. If she likes you she'll do the same.

[I Called In Sick Today]

* Not North Korea.

racist.

[I Called In Sick Today]

which was awkward, the erection itself or the fact that you finished?

Moreso the cuddling after. I didn't realize the guys at my gym were so considerate