GWCGWC FCP Army Bio
written by Dolfan
Name: Gary Wallace Conerly
Job: Something with mattresses
Family: Two sisters, three moms
Height: Just over 6’3”
Quest: To rule the world
Favorite color: green
Will he be here today: yes
Favorite deli meat: polish sausage
Favorite condiment: mustard
Superhero name: Extraneous Thump
Likes: Bunny, playing monopoly for money, boobs (lactating or otherwise), being a hippy
Dislikes: sleeping on waterbeds, acid flashbacks, scary movies and dark corridors
Gary has solidified himself as one of the thread’s dark horses. Although he posts less frequently than some, he has a knack for making observations or jokes that sometimes go undetected and often times underappreciated. And beyond being a talented comedic mind he often adds poignant insights to serious discussions or at the very least offers some nutty anecdote about smoking drugs. What a god damned hippy.
Gary’s established some close relationships through the thread but beyond a few jokes here and there you might never realize it. His life outside the thread, though not completely hidden, isn’t as widely known as others’. It’s likely that he keeps it that way because he thinks chicks dig the mysterious type. But he’s wrong – chicks just dig guys they think can score them some killer weed.
As far as poker goes, Gary isn’t given enough credit for being one hell of a poker mind. He regularly offers opinions and advice on all things poker and understands the game on levels that most of us don’t grasp. Or maybe it’s just that he sucks less than us and he seems like a good player in comparison. Either way, he’s always sure to offer insightful comments on any questions or situations.
Also, Gary knows more about mattresses (for real) than pretty much anyone in the history of the world – too bad he doesn’t tell more stories about actually using them for what God intended.
Overall, Gary is the player on the team that the hometown fans love and the other players respect because of the unsung qualities he brings to the table. To put it in a way Gary would understand, he’s the thread’s Eddie Najera (who kicks ass by the way).
PS – Oh yeah, he also roots for Colorado-based sports teams, which is awesome. Except for the Broncos because they are probably the worst team the NFL has ever seen. You can look it up, it’s been proven.